We are ALL Victims Here
by fitzdillore22
Summary: Dan and Phil get raped by vile men on the same day. They both have different ways of coping, they are told to go to therapy and meet people. They want nothing to do with it, until they find each other... But even then, their memories still haunt them. Will they be able to get on with their lives after such a horrible thing was done to them? Includes Louise from a Sprinkleofglitter.
1. Chapter 1

Dan had just been going out for a stroll.

How could it have gone so wrong?

Dan went through the park as he did then took the shortcut through the alleyway to get home. He was within sight of the door when someone grabbed him from behind.

"Don't scream or I'll kill you." The voice ordered placing a knive to Dan's neck.

"Oh god, please don't kill me." Now, as he thought back, he wished the man had. "You can have my money, just please don't kill me."

"Kill you? No I won't kill you." The voice growled, Dan felt the slightest reflief until the man yanked back on his brown hair and snarled in his ear. "I'm going to make you my bitch." He then thrusted Dan against the brick wall and placed a rough hand on his back.

"No, no please no." Dan begged, tears streaming down his face as he heard the man undo his buckle.

"Yeah cry for me, bitch." The man barked as he cut Dan's belt from the back and slid his pants down. The one time Dan hadn't wore skinny jeans, he thought back now as he still heard the man grunt before diving inside him.

"AHHH!" Dan screamed as an unspeakable pain drove itself into his rectum.

"I said quiet bitch!" The croaked and slammed Dan's head into the wall, making his vision blurr even worse with the pain and his tears. He whimpered softly until it was over. "Now wasn't that fun." The voice mumbled in Dan's ear as he zipped up his own fly. "Don't you dare turn around or call the police because they won't believe you. You just need to take it like a man!" He slapped Dan's ass before running down the alley, back into whatever hell he had crawled out of.

Dan was left alone, with his jeans pooled around his ankles and blood slow dripping out of his anal cavity.

"And then what happened?" The woman in a dress suit asked Dan. She was holding a pen and clipboard with paper, sitting next to his bed in the hosiptel. Dan looked at her with incerdulity and disbelief.

"What happened? What happened? I was found in that fucking alleyway unconsouis with my pants down because I fainted when I saw the fucking blood coming out of my ass!" He yelled at her. She showed no emotion, not even fained sympathy as she added a few more notes before resting.

"Here is a clinic to go for people like you." She said handing him a card which he promptly torn into a million pieces.

"I don't want help from people the likes of you!" He spated back. She sighed and placed a little sack on his side table.

"Mr. Howell, there have been many people raped in the past-"

"Don't say 'rape'." Dan grimaced at the word. It sent him flashing back to that horrible nightmare than was fresh in his mind.

"There have been many people, including men, who have gone what you have went through. But they all needed help to get back to their lives. Some don't even come to the hosptial, and most take a shower right away and wash away the evidence. But you're lucky, with the DNA they can-"

"I'm LUCKY!?" Dan screamed then laughed coldly. "Oh yes, I am so fucking lucky. Let me count the ways!" He began counting them off on his fingers. "I was raped by a man who didn't give me an ID except for his voice that will haunt me for months or longer and his seimen which was so badly engraved in my asshole, that they had to clear it away with a scauple before stitching me up like a fucking ripped jacket! Oh yes, I am so lucky!" He roared before falling down on the pillow and turning away from the women to hide the fact he was crying.

She sighed again before leaving. Dan heard her talking to the nurse, telling her to give Dan this card when he was let out. The nurse promised she would and both went back to their businesses.

Oh yes, Dan thought cooly, my whole world gets thrown into the depths of Hell and everyone can just continue business as usual. This was his last thought before drifting away into a nightmare filled dream state that was nothing close to the somewhat satisfying sleep he had experianced the night before.

I'll never sleep well again, he concluded as he was taken away by the monsters of his subconsious.

Meanwhile...

Down the hallway...

"I need a rectal specialist here, now!" A nurse yelled wheeling in a paler than humanlly possible male.

"Oh Lord, not another one." Dr. Jones said under his breathe as he looked down at the past our black haired boy. He may have been unconsouis, but there was still a grimace on his face. "Was it the same man?" He asked looking at the younger man's vital.

"No sir, the police were called in when the neighbor's heard screaming in his apartment." She swallowed hard against the bile at the back of her throat as she said. "It was his boyfriend, Sir." The doctor looked at her in puzzled shock.

"'His boyfriend'?" He looked down at the agony on the young man's face again. "He did this to him?" He then looked at the horrid tear that his supposed 'boyfriend' had caused.

"Yeah but the scum bag's in jail now. And if he," She nodded towards the tortured from "Charges against him, he's the one who will be in a hosiptel after the welcoming wagon is done with him." The young man writhed in agony but was restrained and given drugs to help calm him down. A different nurse swapped him for a rape kit then moved out of the doctor's way, fading into the sanitized crowd. "What's his name?" The doctor asked as he went to work in repairing the poor, broken soul that laid in front of him. The nurse looked down at the charts and papers.

"Phillip Micheal Lester." She confrimed looking everywhere except for the throbbing area whuch Dr. Jones was trying to heal.

"Phillip, huh?" Dr. Jones asked sewing up the last of it. "Well Phillip," He said to the now sleeping form. "You are a very lucky man." Phil flinched in his sleep and let out a small moan, at the same time, down the hallway, a man named Daniel Howell winced then whimpered.


	2. Chapter 2

Phil gasped and tried to scream but the air had left his lungs so his mouth made animal like whimpers.

"It's okay, it's okay, you're fine." A nurse informed him, dabbing at his sweating face and neck with a cool towel.

"What, where am I, what happened?" Phil asked taking his surroundings. He was in a hospital room, in a hospital bed, he was also in pain. "Why does it hurt to move?" He groaned rolling to his side to try to dull the throbbing his in butt.

"You don't remember?" The nurse asked slightly alarmed, holding a hand to her mouth for effect Phil thought.

"Remember what?" Phil asked still trying to find a postion that didn't feel like he had been dragged on top of spikes like the ones Sonic died on.

"Oh honey, you were..." She began but stopped and asked again "You're sure you don't remember anything?"

"No I-" Suddenly Phil's eyes went wide as he relived the horrors of the previous night all over again in intense, millisecond flashes.

He was home, he was all alone, a knock at the door, 'Who could it be?', he saw it was his ex a second too late and the bastard had kicked down the door, he had ran away screaming for help, he had been dragged to the bed by his hair and then...

Phil bent over and threw up onto the floor.

"Oh God." He moaned as a second wave over took him.

"I'll get someone to clean that up right away." The nurse squeaked before handing Phil a bucket and running from the room. Phil clung to the bucket and groaned, sweating again, worse than before.

"What happened to me?" He moaned again, curling himself around the bucket. After the mess was cleaned up by a pissed off janitor; during which, Phil pretended to be asleep, someone knocked on the door.

"Ah Mr. Lester, you're awake I see." A doctor came in with a clipboard in hand. " I'm Doctor Jones and I am going to be your doctor, for the time being." He smiled shaking Phil's hand as Phil weakly extended his own.

"Nice to me you." Phil mumbled.

"Likewise," The doctor muttered back, distracted by the charts in front of him. "Mr. Lester, do you remember what happened to you?" Phil only nodded. "Yes well, we collected a sample of the assailant's DNA from you last night and I am wondering if I should give it to the police to analize" Phil felt a twinge of painful pourportions at the word, "and have it process as evidence." Phil nodded. "However, that means the police will want you to give your side of the story." Phil looked up at the doctor and shook his head viamenly.

"No." Phil uttered softly, the thought of having to talk to police about such a subject made him sick all over again. "Can't they just take the sample and be done with it?" Phil cowered in on himself. Dr. Jones tried to touch Phil's shoulder to clam him down but Phil shrugged away from the contact.

"It isn't worth anything if you don't say what happened to you." Dr. Jones's beeper suddenly went off and he checked it. "Oh my, sorry Mr. Lester, I must be on my way." He turned, grabbed the door handle before turning back to Phil and adivised "Just consider it." And shut the door behind him. Phil was grateful for the private room and the window it was given but it couldn't block out the sounds coming from down the hall...

Meanwhile...

Down the hall...

"Let me go you whankers!" Dan yelled as orderly tried to restrain him while he tried to walk down the hall, his leather jacket, the only piece of clothing to surive the investigation and 'the incident'. "I am fine and I am going home, right now." He struggled against the arms restraining him.

"Daniel please, just go back to bed." One nurse begged as Dan screamed even louder at the feeling of touch and restraint, reminding him of 'the incident'. "Doctor, help us!" The nurse shouted, seeing Dr. Jones sprinted forwards with a syringe in his hands.

"Now Daniel, this will only hurt for a second." He promised as he plunged the needle into Dan's arm. The sight of the needle made Dan whoozy enough that he didn't need the drugs, however he welcomed them like an old friend as he drifted away and his body relaxed. "It'll be okay Daniel," The doctor whispered as they set him down on the bed again and put his jacket on the chair by the door. "You aren't the first to go through this and you won't be the last, I'm sure." Everyone left Dan alone with a sigh of relief to know he was asleep again. Dan still suffered from nightmares however, even with the drugs.

But he wasn't the only one.

Down the hall, a cry of escapes Phil's lips as he drifts off into sleep again.

"Those rape victims sure are a scream." One nurse jokes to another in the break room.

"Yeah, that Howell will need a lot of time to heal after such a fearous battle, both pyschially and mentally." The other agreed.

"But that Lester was raped by his own boyfriend, I think he'll need more help than Howell." Someone by the coffee machine piped in.

"Isn't it ironic though that those two boys, around the same age, were both raped on the same day?" An older nurse who was close to retirement asked.

"I think they'll end up together." A young woman in a limp ponytail piped in from the corner as she was typing on her laptop.

"Oh yeah," the first nurse replied, "What makes you so sure?" The young woman looked up from her laptop and smiled.

"Just a feeling." She said.


	3. Chapter 3

"Good news, Mr. Lester." A nurse smiled opening the curtains the next Monday. "You're free to go! Isn't that exciting?" Phil was on the bed with his hands wrapped around his bent knees. He looked up at her and nodded. He had grown more and more silent over the past few days and now was practically mute. The nurse had tried everything to get him to speak but nothing seemed to work or even help. She sighed and handed him the clothes his parents had dropped off for him. They had wanted to give them to their son, but Phil had refused to see them. He didn't want them to see him like this. He didn't want _anyone_ to see him like this.

"I'll let you get dressed and you can be on your way then." The nurse mumbled and went to the door. She slipped her hand in her pocket and felt a small card. She pulled it out with curiosity and saw it was the one the business woman from the clinic had given her to give to Mr. Howell. But Mr. Howell had had a stack of these cards, she reasoned as she turned around and gave it to Phil.

"Please, think about going." She asked of Phil. He looked at the card then at her and nodded, but they both knew he was lying.

Meanwhile...

Down the hall...

"Mr. Howell," The nurse nodded curtly at Dan as she placed a tray of food by his bed. "You're being realized today."

"Finally." Dan mumbled as he reached over for the tray and began picking at the food. She wasn't sure if the 'finally' was for being released from this prison or for the food finally getting there. Either way, she did not like this but she kept her mouth shut.

"Your friend dropped by these." She said putting the clothing on the edge of the bed.

"Yeah, he's my roommate." Dan said thickly through the 'scrambled' eggs that tasted undercooked and slimy.

"That was awfully nice of him." She said, surprised Dan was engaging in this conversation or any at all, he had said much over the past few days. "Why didn't he come and visit you to drop these off?" Dan glared at her and swallowed the mouthful of gross eggs and toast so she could hear him clearly.

"I don't want to see anyone after what happened." He stated coolly, she blushed and went towards the door huffing on her furry. Dan smiled at this reaction then noticed one card still left on the bedside table. He picked it up, the one for the clinic he mused. He had thought he had got rid of them all in various ways; under the plates on his trays, flushing them down the toilet with his painful shits, eating them piece by piece. "Guess you're the last one, huh little guy?" He croaked "Well, I have a special plan for _you_." He then got up and got dressed and pocketed the slip of paper.

At the same time...

Down the hall...

Phil had slipped his own card into his own clean jeans. They both turned out of their rooms and headed for the exit. They both waited for the elevator, checked themselves out, and went separate ways, never saying a word to one another.

However, they both seemed to notice how attractive the other one was. But they never acted on it.

_Who would date a guy like me after what happened?_ Phil thought coldly, turning the opposite way of Dan as he hailed a taxi.

_Who date someone that has been tainted like me?_ Dan thought savagely, flipping up his collar and walking against the rain that was starting to come down.

_No one, _they both concluded.

Two Months Later...

"Yeah, I'll have two packs of ciggies and a lotto ticket, thanks mate." Dan ordered harshly at the Indian cashier behind the counter.

"That'll be twenty-five pounds." The Indian man smiled. Dan shelled out the money and placed it on the counter even though the cashier held his hand out for the money. The cashier looked puzzled for a moment before handing Dan the bag.

"Keep the change." Dan mumbled around a cigarette as he left the shop. He reached for a lighter in his pocket and grabbed something else. He pulled out the scrap of paper and looked at it. "Oh, hello old friend." He chuckled at the worn and withered paper that barely held any information about the clinic that always slipped his mind. He held it up and took out the lighter in the other hand. Like many times before, he held the paper close to the flame, almost setting it on fire. But, like always, decided against it and pocketed it once more before lighting the cigarette dangling from his mouth. He breathed in the addictive pollution and walked, with his collar up, against the rain, back towards his flat.

Even though it would have saved him time, Dan went around the block instead of through the alleyway. He never went down there anymore.

He entered the nearly clean apartment as a cleaning tornado was at its work.

"Glad your home." PJ said exasperatedly. "I have been cleaning since I woke up. Some friends are coming over tonight and I want the entire apartment to be clean for them so, do you mind cleaning up your room?" PJ asked hesitantly as he swept the kitchen floor. Dan looked at him in shock.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier that people were coming over tonight?" Dan flared up as he tossed off his jacket and fled to his, untidy to say the least, room.

"Because I didn't want you to back out again." PJ called after him. "Dan, it's been months since you've seen anyone besides me, you're friends are starting to worry." He added softly but then PJ noticed a card that had fallen out of Dan's jacket. He could barely make out the letters on the worn out surface by he managed. "'London's Rape and Relief Clinic'" He read aloud to see if it sounded right. "'020-555-9450. Don't Worry, we are ALL Victims Here.'" He read the slogan and chills ran up his spine. "How is _that _comforting?" He asked with an 'are you serious' look on his face.

"It is to me." Dan growled behind PJ making him leap in the air. "And I would appreciate it if you would give it back to me right now." Dan stated through gritted teeth. PJ didn't argue, he knew better, he simply handed the card back to Dan. Dan took it and grabbed his coat again. "I'm not coming home tonight, tell everyone I had an emergency and keep them from fucking in my room. Cheers." Dan slammed the door as he left.

"Damn it, PJ!" PJ scolded himself, "Now look what you've done!" He flopped on the couch and caught himself repeating the slogan and Dan's words in his mind. _'Don't Worry, We are ALL Victims Here.' It's comforting to me._

Meanwhile...

In a London flat,

Not too far away...

"Phil, lunch is ready!" Louise called from the kitchen. She waited a moment when her phone pinged; a text, from Phil.

'I'm not hungry.' was all it said.

"Phil, you can't keep doing this." Louise said walking down the hall to the closed door and placing a hand on the decorated wood. The door was plastered in animal stickers and drawings with a new sign over top of the cuddly animals that read 'Go Away.' This was how Phil now communicated with everyone now, through texts and signs never, ever speaking. Louise was beginning to forget what his voice sounded like. How long had it been since she had heard him laugh? Months, at least since Zachariah had been in their lives.

But she didn't like to think about that sick bastard ever since the incident. She had convinced Phil to move in with her after he came back from the hospital and he texted her 'can I stay with you for a while?' She had insisted but Phil didn't really object to it. Now his apartment was still a crime scene until Zachariah would be let go in a few weeks unless Phil came forward and told his side of the story.

"Come on Phil, it's your favorite: Curry." She tempted him but her phone pinged again.

'leave it outside the door please' she read. She sighed, she knew she shouldn't give into his wishes but she didn't want to argue when he was acting this way.

"Sure Phil, I'll set it outside your door." She said to the door. She walked back down the hall and severed a plate when her phone pinged again.

'thank you' was all it said.

Louise set the plate down, mumbled "You're welcome, Sweetie." and trotted back down the hallway, defeated. It was a little while later when she got another text from Phil.

'I'm finished it was really good' She when back down the hall and picked up the plate which was almost as full as when she had set it down. It looked picked over and hardly touched. She took in a deep breathe; enough was enough.

"Phil," No reply. "I'm coming in." She said and opened the door. I may have been three in the afternoon, but it also could have been midnight. The curtains were drawn, making it hazardously dark what with the clothes and animals all around the room. "Phil, are you in here?" She heard the shower running in the adjacent bathroom and realized he must be taking a shower again. That's all he ever seemed to do anymore. Sleep, pick at food, lather, rinse, repeat, that was Phil's life now.

Something on his bedside table caught her eye though. It was a piece of paper, a business card. "'London's Rape and Relief Clinic'" She read, trying to adjust her eyes to the dark and small, worn words. "'020-555-9450. Don't Worry, we are ALL Victims Here.'" She felt sick reading those words but they gave her an idea. She suddenly came to realize the lack of water running in the background. She placed the card quickly back, repeating the numbers in her head as she quickly left the room. _020-555-9450. 020-555-9450. _She thought over and over until she wrote it down on the whiteboard she kept for grocery shopping lists. '_London's Rape and Relief Clinic.' _She wrote beside the numbers. The slogan rang through her head like a catchy song:_ 'Don't Worry, we are ALL Victims Here.'_ "Creepy." She whispered as she dialed the number.


	4. Chapter 4

"Okay Phil, are you ready?" Louise asked standing by the door, urging Phil to hurry up in little ways. She had told him she was taking him to the zoo, which wasn't a complete lie. They would go to the zoo, after he when to the clinic. She had set up an appointment last night and they were on the verge of running late; Louise refused to be late. Phil slipped on his coat, checked to make sure he had everything, then nodded. "Alright, let's go!" Louise called leading the charge. She didn't see Phil smile when her back was away from him but she did hear a soft, muffled by going through his nose, chuckle escape. She wasn't sure if it was true or not though, so she didn't make a big deal about it.

She felt horrible.

When the taxi pulled up the to clinic, Phil had looked over at her with hurt and anger for being betrayed in this fashion.

"Phil, you need help." Was all she had said with a friendly hand on his shoulder. He knew she was right but that didn't stop him from being angry with her. He jerked away from her touch like he always had and got out of the taxi without a word and went inside the building. Louise was left in the cab with the meter running until Phil texted her.

'Go on home, I'll catch up with you later.' It felt like a hostile text considered it was Phil who had made it.

'I'm sorry Phil.' Louise texted back then added; 'We can still go to the zoo afterward, if you'd like?' The reply was simple and felt angry.

'I'll go by myself, thanks. I'll catch up with you later.' He repeated, and with that, Louise went back to her flat while Phil went to the appointment.

"'Ello." A cheerful secretary greeted Phil. The waiting room with set back in time with shag carpet and fake wooden walls that made the room feel more like a prison than a welcoming center. "Are you here for an appointment?" She asked. Phil looked around for a pen and paper, found them then wrote down his name. She only continued to smile as she read the scribbled, tight handwriting. "Phil Lester?" She asked to which he nodded. "Very good." She typed into the computer then said "Ah yes, your friend Louise called in for you." He felt uneasy and angry to hear this but she moved on as if she hadn't noticed this. "Mrs. Grobat will be you with in a moment, please have a seat." She motioned to the leather, uncomfortable looking seats that matched the rest of the room. Phil decided to stand and wait for his name to be called back.

In the mean time, there were several other patients that went back and few returning. Mostly women with their arms folded across their chests and a handful of men who tried to look tough but only looked sad and scared. Even a couple children with horrified looking parents.

"Phil Lester?" Someone asked opening the door and looking into the waiting room like others before her. He stopped leaning on the wall and followed her in, unsure of what lied ahead of him.

At the same moment...

Outside...

Dan looked up at the unmovable building with disgust and wonder. _How many broken people had entered through those wooden doors and been healed? How many people had gone through what he had and recovered? How many never did, even with help? _Dan thought all this and more as he smoked away at a cigarette in the gloomy London atmosphere.

Something then caught his attention. A mother with her face covered by a veil was helping her son up the stairs to the building. He wondered who the appointment was made for when the mother instructed her son: "Now remember, it wasn't your fault and they want to help. That's all they want to do is help." The son nodded but said nothing. Dan nearly swallowed his cigarette.

There were kids going through what he was going through?

_Well, if they can get through a stupid appointment, then I can too. _He reasoned, _all I need to do is man-._

Suddenly he was back in the alley, vulnerable and with that man. _He slapped him on the ass and growled "'Take it like a man.'"_ Dan turned and ran away. He didn't stop until he had zigzagged his way into a park he knew very well then threw up in the bushes nearest his exhausted body.

"Enough!" He yelled at no one, sending nearby birds into flight. "This has got to stop. I'm tired of being scared at the time. Enough is enough." He talked to himself the whole way back to the clinic, ignoring the stares and pushing himself into doing something that needed to be done a long time ago.

"'Ello, do you have an appointment?" The secretary asked Dan when he entered the building.

"No, can I make one?" He asked, he hadn't realized he needed one.

"Well, there is someone who takes walk-ins, but she is busy with a client right now. So if you take a seat, I'm sure she'll be ready for you soon." The woman smiled, "And I need you're name when they call you back." She requested.

"Dan Howell." He stated.

"Well Dan, it will only be a few minutes wait." She grinned up at him, Dan nodded and sat on a nearby leather chair. It wasn't nearly as comfortable as it looked, and it looked as uncomfortable as a dentist's chair. Dan decided to stand instead.

He saw people come and go but no one stuck out in particular.

"Dan Howell?" A woman asked. Dan stopped leaning and followed her into a small office room with a couch, a chair, a small office space and another computer chair with a woman sitting in it. Dan stepped in and sat down in opposite chair. The woman pressed a button on her desk that locked the door behind Dan before finally facing him.

"No fucking way." Dan growled seeing it was the same woman who had visited him in the hospital to record his side of the story.

"Nice to see you too, Daniel." She smiled softly at his reaction. _She must not get one like that too often_ he thought before reaching to open the door.

"Let me out!" He roared, yanking on the handle.

"Something drew you to this clinic Daniel." She said grabbing her pen and notepad as he listened and stopped pulling on the door. "And I'd like to know what that was. So if you don't mind, I'd like to chat with you a little more before you leave today." She said clicking her pen and waited for him to sit again like a good little patient.


	5. Chapter 5

"Now Phil," Mrs. Grobat crossed her vein covered, stockinged legs and faced Phil, pen at the ready on paper. "Tell me what happened." Phil looked at her in stunned curiosity. Really, _that's_ your approach? What happened to him? Just tell her the most horrifying and tragic thing that happened to him as if they were at a tea party? When Phil refused to speak, as normal, she seemed a little put out but she didn't rush him. Gets paid but the hour, Phil guessed. But then, this stranger surprised him.

She set down the clipboard and, with a sigh, lowered her turtleneck to reveal a long, ragged scar that nearly touched her from ear to ear.

"Don't worry Phil, I'm just like you." She spoke softly and kindly, but her words didn't help. "'We are ALL Victims Here.'" She quoted the clinic's slogan but placing the shirt back into place and grabbing her clipboard again. "Your friend Louise filled me in on what happened." She huffed, relaxing back into the chair. "She also said you haven't spoken since." She added with a concerned look. Phil only nodded. "Phil," She grabbed his knee with her one free hand and whispered "Bad things happen to good people, but it doesn't make the good people bad." Phil flinched away from her touch and rose to his feet, turning towards the door. She shook her head and pressed a button on her desk, exasperatedly. Phil tucked on the knob, but the door wouldn't budge.

"You have to speak again Phillip." She was writing something down as Phil turned to her. "You need to learn to trust people again. Just because one bad man hurt you, doesn't mean the whole world will at any moment." Phil grew angry and looked for something to write with but the only thing was her pen and paper, and she was using that. He whipped out his phone but by the time he texted it, she had said "I am not reading anything on that screen, Phillip. My eyes can't handle that light." He still shoved it in her face anyways.

'YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT WHAT I WENT THROUGH!' It screamed at her. Then he took it back and typed a new message: 'I WAS RAPED BY A MAN WHO CLAIMED HE LOVED ME THREE MONTHS AGO BEFORE LEAVING ME WITH A HOOKER!' Phil looked at this and fell to the leather chair, crying. Seeing it in text was so much worse than brewing about it at the back of your mind for months, seeing it brought it all rushing back in screaming reality. Mrs. Grobat picked up the phone and used her reading glasses to see it clearly and read it to the broken, hoarse sobs of Phil.

She looked over at the broken twenty some year old man with sadness. He had learned one of life's harshest lessons: Just because someone says they love you, doesn't mean they care about you. But it also doesn't mean that has to define who you are your whole life.

"Phil, there is a meeting tomorrow night with people just like you; a support group, of sorts." She ripped off the sheet of paper she had been writing on and handed it to Phil along with a tissue. Phil took the tissue but refused the paper. "Just," She placed it in her hand with his phone then held both out to him. "Consider it." He glared at her before taking back his phone and the paper. "Will you?" She asked, he nodded. She pressed the button, knowing he _would _consider it due to her persuasion, and let him go. He tried not looking at the paper as he stuffed it into his pocket blindly, but he still felt the words in his pocket, like a loaded gun; very hard to ignore.

During the meeting...

Down the hall...

"No fucking way, you better let me out of here right the fuck now!" Dan bellowed trying to yank the door open, to no avail.

"Mr. Howell, I insist you listen to what I have to say." the woman ordered. Dan was still then turned back and glared at her as he sat down to listen. "Now," She removed her glasses to look at him more clearly. "I think we should reacquaint ourselves. I am Miss Harper Turner and I just want to talk and have you listen. Can you do that, without interruption?" She asked. He felt like a complete child, being told what to do, but he nodded and obeyed. "Good," She took to the seat behind her desk and began.

"I am from Spain originally, but I moved to England to escape from being raped by a man who said he love me for the rest of my life." She then told her tale of woe; how she married this man in hopes to have children, she knew he was abusive but she knew he'd _never_ hurt her, he raped her and nearly killed her. Thanks to her friends, she was able to run away from her problems and start a degree in therapy. Little did she know, she would end up helping people just like her. "But running away didn't solve anything." She concluded. "That's why I told you to come here. I am very glad you did." She put on her glasses again to write something down. "I know you still don't want to talk to me and that's fine. But you need to start somewhere and talk to someone. There is a meeting tomorrow night," She ripped the paper and reached it out towards Dan. "I urge you to go."

"What kind of meeting?" Dan hissed in question.

"A support group for people who have gone through what you have gone through." She explained, she holding out the paper to Dan.

"No interested." Dan growled, standing and moving towards the door.

"You can't leave until I say so." She barked at him with the paper still outstretched. Dan exhaled and turned back, taking the scrap of paper in on fluent motion. He turned on his heel without breaking stride and opened the door. She let him go, knowing he was intrigued and would be back.

He trotted down the hallway and stuffed the paper into his pocket then took out his phone and bumped into someone, dropping his phone in the process.

"Hey watch where-" He stopped to look in blue eyes that he had had trouble forgetting about over the past two months. Phil looked back with the same awe and wonder into Dan's brown eyes. "Sorry," Dan mumbled picking up his phone. "That was my fault." Phil shook his head violently and pointed to himself. "No, it's mine." Dan insisted. "Say, are you a mime?" He asked, intrigued by the handsome man's lack of voice. Phil went red then rushed past Dan. "Hey, wait!" Dan called after him. But Phil was fast and by the time Dan saw him again, it was outside and Phil was too far down the street to meet up again with. "Fucking hell." Dan wheezed. "I need to lay off the donuts." Then he began a coughing attack, which ended with black phlegm escaping his lips. "And cigarettes." He concluded while standing straight again, spitting out the rest of it. He lit another cigarette on the way home anyways. But he didn't turn up his collar, he was too distracted, thinking about the blue-eyed mime.


	6. Chapter 6

Dan realized, upon arriving home, then he needed to go to that meeting tomorrow. If not to better himself, then to at least see that blue-eyed mime again.

Dan spent the next day getting ready for the seven o'clock meeting at The Virgin's Heart Church, which was next door to the clinic. How ironic, Dan thought as he looked at the address again to make sure he memorized the address.

"Hey," PJ called through Dan's door "You want to come to a party tonight? There will be very single and very attractive people there." He tried to tempt Dan through the wood of the door. Dan chuckled at this sad attempt.

"No thanks, I had my own plans tonight." Dan called back, pocketing the address and walking towards the door.

"Oh yeah, like what?" PJ asked Dan as Dan made his way to the kitchen.

"Like a meeting." Dan said nonchalantly as he opened the fridge to see what was inside. PJ raised his eyebrows in surprise, not only at this news but as at the fact Dan was making food to eat. Dan had only eaten enough to survive over the past couple of months.

"Well Dan," PJ baffled as Dan grabbed bread. "Color me impressed." Dan gave him a humorless grunt as he slathered butter and meat on the two halves of a sandwich. Dan ate hungrily at the sandwich and popcorn he had prepared with messy haste.

"I'll be back later." Dan pronounced at six o'clock. He knew he'd be early unless he went to get more cigarettes and smoked while walking around for an hour or so.

"Have fun." PJ called from the bathroom, poking his freshly laundered head out to see Dan leave.

"Right." Dan grunted with the slightest laughter in his voice. He lit up and turned his collar up as he walked into the fading light and beginning evening of London's streets.

Meanwhile...

Not too far away...

Phil hadn't said anything to Louise about where he was going. Not only because he hadn't said anything in over two months, but also because he wasn't sure if it would turn into a regular thing. But he couldn't think of a good reason to leave besides the truth. Visiting someone would raise too many questions, and going out would be too ridiculous. But, thankfully, he didn't need to think of one. Louise texted him that she was going to a party with some friends and he was more than welcome to come along.

'No thanks.' Phil texted back nervously. 'I want to see if I can beat the high score on Mario Kart.' He lied.

'Cool, well have fun.' was the only reply he received. After Louise had gone, Phil got dressed, grabbed his own keys to the flat, and checked the meeting's address again. It was right next to the clinic, he realized. He walked out the door and locked up behind himself. Even though it was within walking distance, he grabbed a cab. He hadn't been able to go walking at night alone for a very long time. He handed the address to the cab driver and waited as they sped through the brightly lit streets.

"Welcome my friends." A man in a cloth poncho greeted to the circle of folding chairs in the church's basement at seven o'five that night. "Tonight I see a new face," He nodded to Phil who buried his face into his scarf. "So why don't we start with introducing each other and why we are all here?" He rose to his feet just as someone clambered down the stairs. Phil's heart leapt into his throat as he recognized who it was.

"Sorry." Dan breathed, clutching his chest with his hand. "I lose track of-" His coffee eyes met blue and his heart skipped a beat before thumping more eratically than with the sudden burst of energy he used to run. "Time." He wanted to smile but he began having a coughing fit which ended in black phylum spewing from his lips.

"Please take a seat." The leader insisted, pointing to a seat next to his own and directly across from Phil. Dan obeyed and gratefully sat down. "Right where were we?" The leader thought out loud.

"Introductions." An Asian girl piped up barely moving his lips that was sitting next to Phil.

"That's right, thank you Lee." The leader smiled at her to which she squeaked and buried her face into her shoulder. "I am Roger but you young people can just call me Roge or R-Dog. Don't call me R-Dog, that's stupid. But yes I am the leader of this support group for rape victims." Dan, Phil and several others all had physical reactions. Some just flinched but Dan and Phil had the worst reactions with Phil squeaking and burying his face further into his scarf while Dan nearly vomited.

"Can-can you not?" Dan asked, fighting the bile at the back of his throat.

"What?" Roger asked.

"Use that word." Dan managed to swallow the last of the sick, sending it to his uneasy stomach.

"What 'r-" Roger began.

"Stop." Dan ordered before Roger could finish the word. The small group looked from Dan to Roger and back again. Dan might be new but Roger was still in charge here. Roger seemed to let it go and moved on.

"Like I said, I'm the leader of this group and I was..." He looked at Dan. "Ravaged twenty years and seven months ago." He sat back down and signaled for Lee to go next. They all went around the group, everyone using a different word to describe what happened to them even though it was all the same. Finally, Dan and Phil were the only ones left. "How about you?" Roger motioned to Dan. Dan gave Roger a dirty look before rising to his feet.

"Hi, I'm Dan, short for Daniel but you could have figured that out." Dan began looking to the floor then his eyes met Phil's feet then rose to his light blue eyes. "I had my incident two months and four days ago." He told Phil. Phil's eyes went wide as Dan sat down, the realization hitting him that he and Dan were raped on the same day. He knew he had seen Dan before the clinic! It was at the hospital when he left, he and Dan had shared an elevator together.

"Good share, Dan." Lee mumbled to the agreement to the group of young people and Roger.

"Yes, now what about you?" Roger asked Phil. Phil looked from Dan to Roger in horror. He had to speak too? But he couldn't speak, not in front of all these people. Sure it was only seven, but he couldn't, he wouldn't. Phil shook his head.

"What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?" Roger joked but Phil grew angry and rose to his feet.

'You know nothing about being raped!' He mouthed before leaving in rage and anger but by the time he got outside, it had all melted into hurt and sadness.

"Hey." Someone said behind him. Phil jumped a mile and rounded on Dan. Seeing it was only Dan, he relaxed and wiped his eyes. Phil waved weakly and let his hands fall into his coat pockets, burying his face into his scarf further against the cold.

"That was uncalled for, what Roger said, I mean." Dan fumbled trying to talk to Phil who refused to face him. Phil tighten his grip around himself and blinked away the tears while nodding. Dan felt so awkward and didn't know what to do. So he did what he knew best: ignore it and have a smoke.

"You want one?" Dan asked, holding out a cigarette to Phil but Phil turned it down. Dan shrugged and lit one up. Phil gaped at him. "What?" Dan blew out the pollution as Phil texted furiously.

"'Don't you know smoking KILLS people?'" Dan read out loud when Phil was finished.

"Yeah, that's the point." Dan chuckled darkly taking in another long huff. Phil smacked the cigarette out of Dan's hand. "Hey, what's your problem?" Dan hissed, fishing out another cigarette and taking a step away from Phil. "I am just speeding up the process of dying." He inhaled the pollution and exhaled its' smoke. "If I'm lucky, I'll die in a few years' time at the rate I'm going." Dan smiled sickly at the lit cigarette. Phil slapped this one out of his hand too and reached for the rest. "Dying is better than living with the pain and memories!" Dan yelled at Phil, securing the pack in his pocket and making a note not to smoke in front of this mime. Phil was texting furiously then stopped and deleted what he had written, thinking better of it, but understanding how Dan felt deep down. "By the way, I still don't know your name." Dan reminded Phil now facing Phil, waiting for a reply. Phil took out his phone again but Dan pushed it down. "No, I want you to _tell_ me your name." Phil thought about texting 'Get used to disappointment.' before walking away and moving on. But Dan's intense coffee colored stare made him stay and for the first time in a very long time, he wanted to talk to someone, Dan to be specific.

"I'm Phil." Phil managed, it came out squeaky and hoarse but still recognizable. Dan smiled a toothy grin, he hadn't thought that that trick would have worked but he was pleasantly surprised, not only by receiving an answer but he thought Phil sounded like an old time cowboy in that moment.

"Hey Phil, I'm Dan." Dan reintroduced himself, shaking Phil's hand and smiling broadly.


	7. Chapter 7

"Do you want to blow this Popsicle stand and hang out?" Dan asked releasing Phil's hand after awhile. Phil nodded in agreement. They just walked around the London streets, talking, mostly done by Dan while Phil agreed or disagreed, until they reached a familiar park to Dan. Dan froze when he realized where they were.

"What's wrong?" Phil asked looking around the abandoned park for anything out of the ordinary.

"N-Nothing." Dan lied, fumbling for another cigarette. "Come on, let's go around." Dan urged walking back towards the gate.

"But, I like parks." Phil mumbled. Dan stopped and turned back to him. "Phil, please, can't we just go around?" Dan wrapped his arms around himself and shivered even though it wasn't that cold. Phil then realized what must have happened here or near here then followed Dan without compliant.

"Thanks for understanding." Dan mummer, relaxing and taking another hit from the cigarette with Phil's disapproval borrowing into him.

"Will you ever be able to go through that park again?" Phil asked softly as they walked around the encompassing gate of the park.

"Will you ever be able to go back to where you had your incident?" Dan replied back. The answer for both of them was as unclear as their future. "Hey," Dan asked trying to lighten the mood and change the subject. "Do you like video games?" He asked cautiously.

Phil nodded softly, "Yeah, but I'm pretty shit at them." He admitted which got a chuckle from Dan.

"It's okay," He put out his cigarette and withdrew keys from his pocket then leaned in and whispered into Phil's ear "I'm pretty shit too." A walked up the steps to his flat's door. Phil was still froze in place as Dan let the door swing open. "Ma casa es sue casa." He grinned proudly but it was replaced by worry as he looked at Phil's face. "Phil?" He asked coming back down the stairs and looking at Phil in the eyes.

The worried, brown eyes searched the light blue ones, but the blue eyes didn't see the brown.

Phil hadn't been near anyone as near as Dan had been just then in that moment since he had been raped. Phil was searching his feels database in his brain. He remembered Zachary whispering in his ear but now the memory seemed to lose its' clarity and was replaced by Dan's warm, cigarette-stained breathe hitting his face.

"Phil? You okay?" Dan asked again, reluctant to touch him but placing a hand on Phil's arm anyways. Phil was shocked by the touch and began to focus his eyes.

"What?" He asked, sounding as if he had just been splashed with cold water. Relief flooded Dan's face, he wanted to hug Phil but he resisted.

"Don't scare me like that, okay?" He asked Phil, pointing a finger in Phil's face.

"Okay." Phil nodded, "Sorry." He managed as they made their way up the steps and into the flat.

"It's fine," Dan mumbled even though it wasn't. He didn't like to be scared or surprised in anyway but that was far worse than he had experienced in sometime. "Just to warn you," he said breathlessly as they made their way up the stairs "My flatmate is a little new to this whole 'My friend had an incident' thing so if he says something inappropriate, don't be afraid to call him out on it."

"He seems nice." Phil nodded as Dan went to open the door.

"You're a funny guy, Phil... Sorry, what's your last name?" He asked, pausing to turn the key in the lock.

"Phil Lester." Phil offered, blushing at the intensity of Dan's gaze.

"You're a funny guy, Phil Lester." Dan smiled, returning to opening the door. "PJ, you home?" Dan hesitated as he walked in, unsure of PJ's reaction to him bringing a friend home without permission.

"Yeah Dan, I'm in the bathroom." PJ called from down the hall.

"Can I have a quick word?" Dan asked heading towards the voice but turning back to Phil to say "Stay here."

"I will." Phil promised as PJ called back.

"Now? Kind of in the middle of something important here, Dan." PJ grunted back in reply.

"Oh god PJ." Dan moaned as Phil felt color rising in his cheeks.

"When you're done then?" Dan asked softly as he reached the door.

"Wait, almost done." PJ called back then opened the door. Dan noticed PJ had been tightening a pipe under the sink. "What's up?" PJ asked, sweating a little at the extroversion.

"I have a friend here, so can you please be on your best behavior? Where are you going?" Dan yelled in whisper as PJ pushed past Dan and made his way down the hall.

"Hi, I'm PJ." PJ grinned, stretching a hand out to Phil when he saw him.

"Hi," Phil muttered taking PJ's hand. "I'm Phil." He said barely above a whisper.

"Why are you so quite Phil?" PJ asked concerned earning a groan from Dan who had just returned to the living room. "Is it something I said?" PJ looked worried but Phil just shook his head.

"Phil has problems talking to people since his incident." Dan blurted, holding his hands to his face in embarrassment.

"Oh..." PJ said softly as Phil nodded slightly. "Sorry..." PJ mumbled before retreating back towards his bedroom.

Dan and Phil were left in awkward silence until Phil said "You mentioned video games?" They played their favorite classic games on various consoles, even PJ joined in on the fun for a while until they put in Super Mario Kart and PJ refused to play, due to his competitiveness.

"It's getting late anyways, guys." PJ noted, stretching and heading to bed.

"Really, what time is it?" Dan asked as he swayed to and fro with the racers, trying to get ahead of Peach.

"It's nine." PJ informed with a yawn.

"Crap!" Phil said then hit pause and reached for his phone. "I forgot to text Louise! She's going to kill me for not calling sooner." He saw he had five texts and two voice mails all from Louise. "She's going to kill me." He concluded, rising and grabbing his coat at a dizzying sped.

"Oh well, um, would you like an escort?" Dan offered, setting down his own controller and rising to his own feet.

"No, no, it's fine really." Phil assured as he raced down the stairs. He opened the flat door and groaned. It was pouring and he had on a light jacket without a hood.

"Are you sure?" Dan asked beside Phil, an umbrella at the ready. They walked down the street without a word as they were huddling under the protective shield of the canopy above. The rain was loud and filled the quiet well, but it didn't hide the fact that they kept looking at and away from each other just as the another looked away or at the first.

"Well, we're here." Phil said finally stopping in front of his and Louise's flat. He turned to Dan who threw away his cigarette and popped in a tic tac before turning to face Phil.

"Listen, we don't need that shit support group. We could just hang out during it and maybe egg their cars when they talk about how Jesus can save their souls and shit." Phil felt his face do something that he had felt in a long time: smile. Dan felt a blush rise in his cheeks; he had never seen a more beautiful smile from anyone else on this planet.

"Sounds amazing." Phil grinned as Dan continued to stare.

"You're amazing, Phil." Dan whispered in reply.

"What?" Phil asked, to see if he had heard right.

"Oh, nothing." Dan bailed but never looked away from the blue intensity of Phil's gaze.

"Okay then, night." Phil waved as he went to duck from out of the canopy's protection and into the flat; but Dan grabbed his hand.

"Wait!" Dan urged loosening his grip the second he had Phil's attention. The rain seemed to slow as well as time when blue eyes faced into brown. Dan went to lean in as well as Phil but when Phil opened his eyes a crack to make sure that this was real; he saw Zachary leaning in, ready to tear Phil apart.

"NO!" Phil yelled and smacked Zachary across the face, only to see Dan taking the brunt of the impact. "Oh my god Dan, I'm so sorry! I saw Zachary and I thought it wasn't you-" Phil tried to explain but Dan held up a hand which stopped Phil instantly.

"I understand. I don't know what I was thinking; you and I. Stupid." He grumbled to himself before turning away.

"We can still be friends, right?" Phil asked as Dan left him in the misty rain.

"Of course we can." Dan turned back to affirm before going on his way as Phil marched up the stairs to his and Louise's flat.

But neither of them wanted to be just friends...

But how could they be anything else when their ghosts still haunted them?


	8. Chapter 8

Louise's voice shocked Phil like cold water when he entered the apartment. "Where have you been?" She exclaimed with her hands on her hips and her nostrils flaring. "I have been waiting and waiting and for what? You to come in here with your puppy dog eyes and a blush in your cheeks and..." Louise stopped herself as she drew closer to Phil. She analyzed Phil like a microscope does an amoeba. Suddenly, her eyes widened and a smile shot across her face like a firework on Bonfire Night. "Shut up!" She smiles, lightly punching Phil in the arm. "Shut up, shut up, shut up." She squeals as she runs around the room as Phil rubs his shoulder (maybe it wasn't a light punch after all).

"What?" Phil asks a little annoyed but causes Louise to stop in her joyful tracks and whip around to see Phil again.

"You're talking again?" She asks cautiously, coming close to him once more. He smiles softly then nods before he answers.

"Yeah." He affirms.

"The reason why wouldn't happen to be of the male persuasion, would it?" She cheekily asks, causing Phil to go beet red, along with the tips of his ears; with tint cherry.

"Possibly." Phil answers softly. Louise squeals again.

"I knew it! Phillip Micheal Lester, I want details NOW!" She orders as she sets him and herself down on the couch. Phil rolls his eyes before telling Louise everything there is to tell about Dan, until he gets to the kiss.

"Louise," Phil speaks softly.

"Yea?" She asks as she grabs her cat covered mug, which is full of tea, from the tabletop.

"He tried to kiss me." Phil breathes out, but he still has some of it caught in his throat and chest. Louise blinks with wide eyes as she sets her mug back down without taking a sip.

"Phil, what happened?" She asks slowly as Phil's eyes well up with tears.

"I thought I saw..." Phil can't bare to say _HIS___name. "HIM when I when to kiss Dan." Louise shakes her head as Phil's facade began to crumble. "So, I slapped Dan by accident to push that asshole away."

"No." Louise gasps as though she has been slapped herself.

"Even when I don't see him, he's still there!" Phil pants and yells into Louise's hug.

"You're haunted, Phil." Louise swallows against her own throat lump as Phil coughs his up. The truth only makes Phil cry harder. "But you still have a chance to not to be, and to help others too." Louise pulls Phil away and looks him in the face. "Phil, you have to go back to the Police and tell them the whole story. It's the only way to make sure he can't hurt you or others anymore. And then, you can haunt him instead."

"Become the haunter instead of the haunted?" Phil thought in hushed tones.

"That would be the idea." Louise agreed. Phil had been in fear of Zachary since that horrible night so long ago. But the idea of revenge was one he had never admitted to anyone, not even himself, but so craved and longed for. But the only way to obtain that satisfaction would be to accuse Zachary of rape and retell his haunting, tragic, nightmare; and most definitely more than once. It would be reliving the horrors on repeat; with Zachary there to watch Phil suffer, all over again.

"I can't." Phil stated at the thought of seeing Zachary's cold eyes once more.

"Phil, if you don't, then he could rape again and haunt someone else, along with you. Because you'll never get over it without going on trial against him." The thought of someone else suffering like Phil was enough convincing for him.

"I'll do it." Phil restated with his change of heart. Louise hugged Phil gentle.

"You'll save so many people, Phil." Louise exhaled sharply; letting tears escape.

"You don't know that." Phil scoffed.

"You're saving yourself, and that's worth a thousand of that bastard." Louise notes as Phil rests his head on her shoulder and looks out at the rainy night, thinking now only of Dan and hoping he had made it home already.

But Dan had not made it home yet.

Dan was still walking in the cold, rainy streets of London. He was thinking like an old friend of his from his childhood did. But, unlike Pooh, he did not have a specific thinking spot; he just liked to wander, think, and worry like Piglet.

Phil had slammed him when he had tried to kiss him, but Phil had also started leaning in before the slap. Or had Dan only imagined it? Did it really matter now? Probably not, it was better to move on anyways. Dan concluded as he reached an alleyway that was a little too close for comfort in way of walls. But every alley was like that to him now. He took another puff from his cigarette before moving on.

The relaxed and gloomy atmosphere was suddenly shattered by a scream.

"Help! Help me please!" It was a man's voice, but high pitched and strained. Dan whipped around a located the scream coming from an alley up the way and across the street. The screams stopped as suddenly as they had started. Dan prayed to all real and non-real deities that he wasn't too late.

He reached the alley and heard a gruff, and horrible voice growl at the young man in his clutches "Try that again, and you'll never see the light of day; ever." Dan's blood went ice cold and his heart stopped when he registered whose voice it was. It was _his _rapist's voice; dark and familiar because it had haunted him for months. Neither the young man nor the rapist had heard or noticed Dan's presence as the shitty human being pinned the man against the wall just as he had with Dan. Dan was frozen in place as he was watching his incident unfolding in front of his eyes all over again. But as the man began to unbuckle his belt, something snapped inside of Dan.

No. He was NOT going to let this man experience what Dan had and be haunted let he now was. Not. Today.

"Hey!" Dan yelled stepping forwards once more towards the two struggling men. The rapist looked at Dan with fear in his eyes for being caught as the man looked at Dan with grateful hope at being rescued.

"Get away from him, now!" Dan ordered drawing closer even though he was fighting with every fiber in his being to run away. The rapist dropped his grip on the young man who when to ran to Dan. But the rapist was quick and grabbed the man by the arm, twisted it around and onto the younger one's back with one hand and whipped the knife onto his neck with the other. "Stop!" Dan squawked before he could stop himself. Dan had his thumb on the 911 button as the man pressed the knife closer to the man's neck.

"Call the police and they'll have to bring a body bag!" The rapist barked back at Dan. Dan didn't know what to do. He knew this guy didn't fuck around but he also knew that the police would be the only ones who could help.

"Alright, you win." Dan conceded and he placed his phone on the ground, kicked it away from himself and towards the rapist. The rapist grinned evilly and forced the young man forward. The two walked awkwardly with the man's knife to the younger one's throat in a sort of crouched three legged race as the rapist was shorter then the man. Actually, the young man wasn't too much shorter than Dan. They squat walked to the phone, within feet of Dan. The man was about to step and crush the phone, when Dan leaped follow. The man was shocked and went to slide the knife cleanly across the young man's throat but the younger man kicked back, hitting the rapist's leg which caused the now would be rapist to yell in pain and buckle, releasing the man from his grip. The young man kicked out again to be safe, though nothing about this situation was safe, then ran and picked up the phone as Dan charged at the rapist. The rapist was still low to the ground when Dan knocked him onto the concrete. Dan held the man's arms away from his body, trying to pin his legs down, but the man kicked and sent Dan into a roll. Dan held his stomach while the man regained his strength.

"Yes I'm on A100 and there's a man who tried to rape me in an alleyway. Please send help!" The terrified man panted into Dan's phone. The rapist looked furious at the young man and began crawling at him rapidly. "No, no, stay away from me!" The young man screamed and began running backwards but this only caused him to fall onto his butt. Just as the rapist was about to reach the young man, Dan came out of nowhere and knocked him to the ground again.

"You like to be the hero; don't you bitch?" The man spatted at Dan. Dan grew, if possible, even more fearful. Did this man remember him from before or was that his pet name for everyone? Dan didn't have time to decide before he felt a stabbing pain in his side. He cried out in pain as the man thrust his knife deeper into Dan's side. "How does it feel to be the hero now?" He yelled over the sound of sirens approaching from a distance. He then tried to pull out the dagger, but Dan held it fast.

"You're not going anywhere." Dan managed to splutter as the man tried again to yank his hand away from Dan.

"Let go of me!" He cries as the sirens grow louder; growing scared of getting caught.

"Not on your life, you rat bastard." Dan growls as he lets his body weight fall onto the man. They heard the squeal of the tires around the bend and they all know the rapist's time has come. Just as the young man runs to get the police, the man yanks the blade out and jabs Dan again. This time causing Dan to scream high pitched and louder than before. He then rolls Dan off of himself and looks down at Dan.

"You wanted to be the hero?" The man asks Dan quietly as the torches of the police shine down the forgotten alleyway. "Then you can die a hero's death." He snarls as he pulls Dan up by the hair and exposes his neck at a painful angle.

"Drop the weapon, NOW!" A policeman yells as the squad approaches. The man looks at them, smiles, takes the blade and goes to slice Dan's neck like an animal. But a shot rings out in the small alleyway. It hurts the ears of those in the alleyway as the man looks at his wound in his chest before he looks up again, lets Dan's hair slide through his fingers, smiles and falls backwards onto the concrete.

The police surround the man and Dan; one tries to keep the rapist alive while another keeps his gun drawn on him. A different one yells for an ambulance as he sees Dan's wounds slipping blood onto the alley's black pavement.

"We need an ambulance NOW! Two men have been wounded, one shot, one stabbed; both in critical condition." Dan hears all of this as he slips out of consciousness. But all he can think of to calm himself down is how Phil would react to the news of his heroism.

"Phil." He whispers to the policeman who is telling him to stay wake, the ambulance will come at any moment to take him to the hospital. "Get. Phil."

"Phil, Phil who?" The policeman asks seeing Dan is slipping further away than the ambulance coming to the rescue.

"Phil Lester." Dan manages before his head falls just as the ambulance pulls up with lights a flashing.


	9. Chapter 9

Phil got the call the next morning as he was cleaning up breakfast while Louise was at work. The caller was PJ.

"Hello, Phil?" PJ asked, he sounded exhausted.

"Hey PJ, why are you calling from Dan's phone?" He asked curiously as if this was some kind of joke or game.

"Phil, something happened last night; something really bad." PJ hinted in serious tones. As PJ told Phil what he knew, Phil began to realize that this was no game or prank; far from it. This was real life, and it was very, very hard. "He's in stable condition now, but he could slip be down hill at any time. He doesn't look too good, Phil." PJ admitted brokenly as Phil rushed to his bedroom to change.

"Then why are you calling me?" Phil asked as he slipped his night shirt off and into a tee shirt with stars and lighting of red and gold that he only wore when he needed luck. He needed Dan to be okay and he hoped that the shirt's magical powers would grant him this selfless wish.

"The guy that was with them, I think his name was Chris, he said the police were talking to Dan as they loaded him into the ambulance and Dan kept saying you're name." Phil paused in the mists of pulling up his black skinny jeans over his Sonic boxers.

"He really said my name?" Phil asked slightly taking away by Dan's unintentional declaration of his fondness for Phil. Maybe even, dare he even think it, his _love_ for Phil?

"Yes, your last name too." PJ called him back to reality which got him to continue to struggle into his pants. "But enough of beating around the bush. Phil, if you don't get down here soon... I think he might..." All was quiet and still as PJ thought of the right words. "Give up."

"No he won't." Phil spat at reality and held on to his hopes and prays that Dan would be, had to be, okay. "I'm on my way, tell him that." Phil ordered as he sprinted down the stairs and into the rainy London streets.

"Will do." PJ promised before they hung up. "He's coming, Dan." PJ smiled at his badly beaten, sleeping friend on the hospital bed. Dan made the sheets look healthy compared to his skin. "Please hurry, Phil." PJ requested of the black haired man now sprinting down the street, trying very hard to void pushing people over and failing miserably; both due to his height and his clumsiness.

He manages to get to the hospital within ten minutes of hanging up but the loss of breathing for twenty minutes. Good thing he was in a hospital, he thought as he panted to see Dan. When the nurse wouldn't let him in because Phil didn't know Dan's last name, PJ heard the commotion and came to the rescue.

"Some nurses." Phil wheezed grouchily.

"I know." PJ nodded with distance. PJ could have warned Phil for years what he was about to see, but it still wouldn't have been enough to prepare Phil.

Dan was paler than paper. Tubes and wires were poking out of his arms like a Frankenstein when it was being built. Blood bags were at the ready as they dripped slowly into Dan's veins. But, even though all that, Phil thought Dan looked peaceful in his drugged slumber.

"What happened?" Phil asked PJ, forcing himself to tear his eyes away from the bed and look at PJ.

"Dan was walking in A100 of all places and found that Chris guy about to get raped himself, and not just by some random cock." PJ added softly. "Dan confronted his rapist." He stated with a soft awe. Phil went pale, not pale as Dan, but still pasty compared to his normally ghostly glow.

"Dan did what?" Phil questioned, feeling faint.

"This guy was the same guy, Dan recognized him. Then when Chris was calling the police, Dan fought the guy." PJ was speaking very fast, due to his excitement as if he was reliving the whole experience. "Dan kept the guy in the alley until the police arrived but then, the guy had a knife." PJ slowed as he got to the bad part of the epic that was not his own. "And he slabbed Dan once in the rib cage and once in the hip but he also cracked one of Dan's ribs when he kicked him and over extended Dan's neck somehow." PJ said now looking at the broken and pale form on the bed. Phil looked over at Dan too, feeling a mix of pity and pride.

"But the guy's alright?" Phil asked thinking of the young fellow named Chris.

"Well, Chris is; he only needed a plaster across his neck and now he's fine. But the rapist..." PJ whispered this next very important bit of information into Phil's ear: "He's dead." Phil looked at PJ in shock.

"Dan didn't..." He questioned with horror.

"No, no police shot him when he went to slice Dan's throat." PJ let the words rush out so they would be said and, hopefully, never needed to be said again. Phil pictured it quite clearly in his mind even though that was the last thing he wanted to think about. Dan being held against his will, a shadowy figure placing the knife to Dan's gorgeous throat, a shot ringing out, a splatter of blood, Dan and the figure falling to the alley floor.

"Who was he?" Phil asked out curiosity.

"What does it matter?" PJ inquired in reply.

"It matters to me." Phil growled softly. PJ was taking aback by Phil's sudden darkness, so he told him.

"His name was James Butler. He was a motorbike salesman until his work went bankrupt. He use to have a life, a good one but then..."

"Everything changed." Phil finished looking at Dan who had taken residence in his mind ever since that morning after, months previous to this one. Dan began to stir which drew the two friends' attentions. "Should we call a nurse?" Phil asked as he drew closer to Dan.

"I'll go and get one, you two just have your time. He's been dying to-" PJ tried to stop himself from saying such words but they escaped and, before he could correct himself, he just left the two alone. Phil sat on the bed and watched Dan wake up.

It was a slow process which had begun with a deep inhale of breath. Now Dan was beginning to toss from side to side as well as stretch but this made him grimace and made the waking process go faster. He blinked one eye then the other and rubbed them both before fully opening them. His eyes focused on the unfamiliar ceiling then noticed a person at his side. He blinked again, focusing them onto Phil's face. When his eyes recognized who he was seeing, Dan's face split open in a grin that could not hide his happiness and relief at seeing Phil.

"Hi." Dan smiled.

"Hey." Phil grinned back.

"What's going on?" Dan asked looking at his surroundings more. "Where am I?"

"The hospital." Phil answered smoothing out some rumpled sheets near himself. Dan's eyes went wide as he began to look at his wounds.

"What the hell happened to me?!" He gasped as he rubbed his injuries hip against the railing of the bed.

"Calm down and I'll tell you." Phil ordered but his soft voice made Dan think it was his idea to relax and listen to Phil. Phil recalled what he was told. When the story was over, Phil concluded with "I'm so proud of you."

"What, why?" Dan flustered, beginning to blush. "Because I acted like an absolute idiot and nearly got myself killed?"

"No, because you saved someone else besides yourself." Dan was speechless as was Phil. They were quite in the blushing slience for a long moment.

"Phil?"

"Yeah, Dan?"

"I'm sorry I tried to kiss you before. We had just met and that was uncalled for." Dan muttered softly.

"It's okay Dan, really." Phil tried to calm down the injured patient.

"No, it's not, I was trying to take advantage of you and that wasn't right." Dan convinced himself.

"It's okay, Dan." Phil repeated grabbing Dan's hand. A monitor began beeping loudly, Phil looked around worriedly but Dan just replied

"It's my heart, it's just beating really fast." Dan mumbles, feeling like a stupid middle school kid for his heart betraying him so. Phil looked relived before intertwining his fingers with Dan's.

"Mr. Dan Howell?" Someone asked from the doorway, causing them both to jump and pull their fingers apart.

"Yes?" Dan asks as Phil goes to stand by the window, pretending to not be there.

"Can we ask you a few questions about what happened last night?" It was two women, one with a clipboard and one with a fedora.

"Sure." Dan nodded, lying back in the pillows while raising the bed up to be able to lay and talk in a more conversational way.

"Excuse me, Mr..." Miss Fedora addressed Phil.

"Lester, Phil Lester." Phil extended his hand and was surprised at how tight the woman took it.

"I'm Detective Rosa Fords and this is my assistant Kate Pots." She motioned to the woman with the clipboard, who looked ready to take notes as she sat in the only chair in the room. "Mr. Lester, we need to talk to Dan alone for a little while." Rosa looked sternly at Dan before coming to stand beside his bed.

"A detective, what has Dan done something wrong?" Phil asked worriedly.

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with." Rosa snapped back.

"Well, he may not NEED to know, but I WANT him to know as do I." Dan snarled at Rosa. "Now tell me, to what do I owe the pleasure?" He inquired through gritted teeth.

"You are being accused of Mr. Butler's murder." Rosa stated as if she was bored.


	10. Chapter 10

"Rosa, don't be so dramatic! It's just a precaution." Kate informed Dan and Phil to put their minds at ease.

"Kate, please step out into the hallway a moment." Rosa hissed at Kate. Kate looked scared as she followed out into the hall. Dan and Phil were left alone in the sudden silence when Phil's phone began to vibrate and roar. It was a private caller, Phil noted before he placed the phone to his ear.

"Hello?" He asked conversational. It was all unbearably quiet on the other end of the line. Until...

"'Now and then I think of when we were together.'" It was a recording of a song that sent panic to Phil's heart and shivers up his spine and neck. "'Like when you said you felt so happy you could die.'"

"No." Phil whispered as a voice that filled him with dread began to sing along.

"'Told myself that you were right for me. I felt so lonely in your company.'" The voice sneered as the song went on.

"Zachary?" Phil choked out in fear.

"'But that was love and it's an ache I still remember.'" The recording was stopped then a cold, dark voice growled. "Do you still feel my ache on you, Philly?" Phil hit end and threw his phone to the floor; but it was an unbreakable, resistant case so it just bounced up then laid still. But Phil could still hear Zachary's laugh ringing in his ears like that horrible song.

"Phil, who the hell was that?" Dan asked from the bed. But Phil didn't hear him as he ran out of the room. Phil didn't see where he was going or how close he was to running the weak and injured over. All he saw and felt was Zachary's presence. He had to get away, he had to hide. He had to go home. He got outside the hospital and began pacing. Every face looked like Zachary's, every voice was his, everyone and everything reminded Phil of his haunter, his nightmare.

"Phil?" Someone asked, placing a hand on his shoulder. Phil jumped then went to punch Zachary, but it was only PJ.

"PJ!" Phil recognized and set his hand down. "I'm sorry." He mumbled as PJ looked at him with alarm. "I don't know what came over me." But his eyes kept shifting to his peripherals to see if Zachary was just out of his vision.

"Phil, you apparently threw your phone on the ground and Dan wanted me to give it back to you." PJ said cautiously, holding the Hello Kitty cased phone out to Phil. Phil looked at it fearfully, as if it might bite him. Maybe it already had. But he took it back and thanked PJ for returning it to him. "Yeah sure, no problem." PJ shrugged but then grew serious. "Are you sure you're okay? You look like you've seen a ghost." PJ pointed out.

"More like a demon." Phil muttered to himself.

"What?" PJ asked, unsure if he had heard right.

"Nothing, tell Dan I'll talk to him later. Okay?" Phil requested but he walked away before he got an answer.

"Okay." PJ mumbled after Phil. Something was bothering Phil, PJ thought, anyone with eyes could see that; but it seemed to turn Phil gray compared to the living surrounding him. PJ wondered if Phil would ever really be okay again, after what happened to him and now, what happened to Dan...

Phil was walking alone in the rainy gloom thinking, just as Dan had the night before. But his thoughts were consumed by someone he now feared and not adored.

Zachary? Back? After all this time of quiet and, somewhat, peace? Phil had known he would, but then, why did it surprise Phil so much? He suddenly found himself walking up some marble stairs. He looked up and saw it was the police department. He walked inside to get out of the rain, partly. He walked up to the secretary behind the main desk and waited.

"Hello, how can I help you?" She drawled in a lazy Scottish accent.

"Yes, I'm Phil Lester and I'd like to report a rape." Phil announced. She looked up in shock but covered it up with a cough.

"Well, I'm sure I can get someone to take your report shortly; please take a seat, Mr. Lester." She motioned to the leather chairs in the waiting area.

Phil sat and tried to relax and read a National Geography that was made a few years before he was born, but his mind kept racing and reading made his brain hurt. But he remained in his outdated armchair until someone called 'Mr. Lester?' Which caused him to rise from his chair and follow the short skirted woman down a cement, white hall and into a small gray carpeted room with two plastic, gray chairs and a matching table.

"Officer Rogan will be with you momentarily." She stated motioning for him to sit down then left him. Shortly there after, a balding, muscular, but beer bellied officer came in with a clipboard, papers and a comforting smile.

"Hello Mr. Lester, I'm Officer Rogan." He stated as he held out his hand to Phil. Phil shook it and both sat once more. "So, someone tells me you have a story to tell?" Rogan notes, getting his papers ready to take notes and make a report; Phil nods unsure. "You can begin when ready." Rogan offers when he has clicked his pen and hovers it above the clean, unblemished surface of the paper. Phil nods again and tries to find his voice. He had lost his voice for three months the last time he had had contact with Zachary; now, how long would it take him to loosen his tongue without Dan around?

Wait, Dan. That was it!

Dan was the one who had got Phil to talk so easily the first time around so, why not again?

"Mr. Rogan, would it be alright if I called someone and tell them my story while you listen?" Phil inquired. Officer Rogan looked taken aback. He had been on the squad for twenty, maybe thirty, some odd years now, and he had never heard of such an odd request.

"If, that's what makes you more comfortable..." He reasoned while Phil pulled his phone out and dialed.

"Hello?" Dan asked, he sounded tired.

"Hey, are you busy?" Phil questioned, now remembering that Dan was suppose to be interrogated himself.

"Nah, Miss Detective and Clipboard just left. What's up?" Dan seemed to brighten to hear Phil wanted to taught to him.

"I was wondering if I could tell you what happened with my... Incident so I could report it to Mr. Rogan." Dan was quite for a minute then said

"Of course Phil." Phil smiled and put Dan on speaker phone.

"You're on speaker." Phil informed Dan.

"Hi Mr. Rogan!" Dan yelled, which wasn't necessary.

"Hello Mr...?" He looked to Phil for help.

"Dan Howell." Phil informed him. "Everyone ready?" He joked.

"Let me get the popcorn." Dan jested back. They were trying to make light of a very dark situation, Rogan realized as Phil took a deep breathe.

"I was at my house getting ready for a Buffy Marathon with my boyfriend." He began softly.

…..

"Philly, I'm home!" Zachary called from the front door.

"Great, I'm in the bathroom!" Phil called from the in front of the bathroom mirror. He heard Zachary approaching and felt a smile creep onto his face.

"I got you something today." Zachary peeked his face around the door and smiled, holding out a shop's bag. Zachary swiped his ginger hair away from his green eyes to watch Phil better as Phil took the bag and began to open it excitedly. Zachary bit his lip with his crooked teeth as Phil pulled out some handcuffs. Phil looked confusedly at them.

"Babe, what are these for?" Phil asked looking at Zachary. The smile that spread across Zachary's face, still sends chills up Phil's arms and neck.

"Just a little game I want to play, later." Zachary explained, fingering the cuffs in Phil's hands lightly.

"Later as in, never?" Phil wondered as his tossed them aside and pushed past Zachary.

"Philly, don't be like that!" Zachary requested as Phil slammed the door to their bedroom shut. This had made Zachary very, very mad. He walked out of the bathroom, into the living turned the stereo up to it's maximum level and blasted what he called 'their song': 'Somebody That I Used to Know'. Then he had walked into the kitchen and grabbed a knife before sauntering back down the hall towards the closed bedroom door.

"'You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness.'" He had sung as he knocked on the door politely, even as a frown was plastered onto his face.

"Turn it down, Zachary, or the neighbors will call the cops." Phil ordered from the bedroom.

"'So when we found that we could not make sense. Well you said that we'd still be friends.'" Zachary had begun to knock louder and louder until the music couldn't be heard. He had kicked down the door. "'But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over.'" He had Phil locked eyes in a sure kind of understanding.

Zachary's said 'I'm going to hurt you beyond repair.'

Phil's: 'Not if I can escape you first.'

The music kept blaring as Zachary chased Phil. Phil had waited until Zachary came to his side of the bed before climbing over it and leaping into the hallway. But Zachary had grabbed his ankle in mid air, which sent them both to the wooden floor. Zachary had regained his balance first and jumped to his feet while Phil was still on the ground. Zachary had grabbed Phil's ankles and dragged him back into the bedroom. Phil yelled for help but the music overpowered all.

"'But you didn't have to cut me off!'" Zachary dragged and pulled Phil onto the bed. "'Make out like it never happened and we were nothing!'" Phil's hands were cuffed to the metal headboard of the bed. Phil stopped struggling as Zachary wiped his sweaty hair away from his eyes and whispered into Phil's ear "Now the real fun begins." He had ripped off Phil's pants in one motion.

"'And I don't even need your love! But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough.'" Phil was lying on his stomach, crying into the pillow; begging for someone to come. But the only one who was ready to come was the one getting into position behind Phil. "'No you didn't have to stoop so low.'" Zachary plunged himself into Phil to which Phil screamed bloody murder but all anyone heard was "'Have you friends collect your records and then change your number. I guess that I don't need that though.'" Zachary slapped Phil's butt over and over as he pushed further and further inside of him. "'Now you're just somebody that I used to know!'" Zachary and Gotye screamed at Phil. Eventually, Phil knew he would die there. The song was on an endless loop, as was Zachary, until the police came and pulled him off Phil and took Phil away.

And Phil had been left numb, scared, and speechless until Dan had come along.

…..

"And that's my story." Phil finished, fighting back the lump in his throat. Everyone was quite.

"I'll find this guy." Rogan promised before leaving the room.

"Phil?" Dan asked from the phone.

"Yeah Dan?" Phil replied.

"I'm proud of you." Dan offered.

"Me too." Phil affirmed.


	11. Chapter 11

Phil had an uneventful two weeks after he told his story to Rogan. Rogan promised to tell Phil anything as soon as he knew it; but until then, all they could do was wait. Phil spent most of his time with Dan during visiting hours from nine to six. They played games Phil brought, had drawing contests that were so terrible they ended up both losing, and watched DVDs on Dan's laptop while Phil sat on an uncomfortable chair next to Dan's bed. Finally, Dan paused the X-Files one day and turned to Phil who was cowering quietly.

"Are you scared?" Dan asked, slightly amused as Phil readjusted himself into a non-cowering position.

"No." Phil laughed falsely but Dan raised an eyebrow and Phil sighed "Maybe a little. I was a kid when I first watched the X-Files!" Phil tried to explain over Dan's laughter. "I was paranoid growing up." Phil mumbled as Dan wiped tears away from the corners of his eyes.

"Sorry, I shouldn't laugh but, everything looks so fake!" Dan roared, starting himself off again.

"It looked real to a kid." Phil muttered. After another minute of laughter from Dan, Phil went to leave, he wasn't going to be a thing to laugh at for Dan. But he felt a hand on his arm and turned to see Dan, serious as ever looking at Phil.

"I promise not to laugh anymore if," Even though it had been some time since Dan's incident, his body was still recovering and when Dan pulled the sheet away revealing his beaten body slid over to the opposite side of the bed, also revealing a Phil shaped hole for Phil to lay next to Dan. "You join me. I know this bed isn't nearly as comfortable as that cracked leather chair but…" Dan trailed off with hope in his brown eyes. Phil's blue looked from the hand to the bed and back to Dan's face.

"Nothing funny?" Phil questioned, sliding in next to Dan.

"Nothing funny." Dan promised and let Phil get comfortable before he hit play. Phil's attention was no longer on the investigators in the abandoned building with guns drawn but it was now focused on Dan's bandaged and bruised, ever present weight next to Phil. No matter how many times he tried to focus back onto the show; his thoughts always led back to Dan. What was Dan playing at? Dan did this to get closer to Phil, but why? What was the reasoning? Then his thoughts failed him as Dan's fingers found and curled around his own. "This bit also scares me." Dan whispered just before an alien jumped out at the heroes. Dan jumped too and squeezed Phil hand before he could breathe again. "Damn aliens." Dan laughed softly.

Dan tried to pull his hand away, but Phil tightened his grip. Dan paused the video again and looked to Phil who was already looking at Dan. Time seemed to slow as they looked into each other's faces. Their eyes met but the intensity was a bit much so they looked away. Phil noticed Dan's focus had landed on Phil's lips. Phil swallowed nervously, he had never been so close to someone since… Then.

"Dan, I'm scared." Phil admitted as Dan's non-intertwined fingers brushed away a particularly stubborn piece of black hair back from Phil's face into the fringe line with its fellows.

"I know." Dan nodded then let go of Phil's hand and removed his hand from Phil's face. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done this." Dan shook his head and rolled over, ever careful of his laptop which his set on the bed side table gingerly. "I think you should go." Dan muttered and wrapped his arms around himself as if he was cold. Which was a lie, since Phil was still lying next to him. Phil didn't know what to do except obey Dan's request. He got his things and paused at the doorway to look at Dan. But Dan had already rolled away and all Phil could see was Dan's back to him. Phil opened his mouth then closed it and finally mumbled "Get some rest." Before leaving.

When he came in the next day, the nurse informed him Dan didn't want any visitors today and they would be running tests for the foreseeable future and no visitors were permitted during that ordeal and Dan was very sorry and thought that he, Phil, would understand. Phil said he did but was confused and hurt since this 'trying ordeal of tests' wasn't mentioned any other day he had come to visit Dan. He told the nurse to tell Dan that he hoped Dan would feel better in time for the trail of Dan's rapist's murder, which was coming up and with that, he left; tossing his bag of apologetic Malteteaser's in the trash on the way out.

So he decided the following evening to go to the useless "We are ALL Victims Here" meeting, since he had nothing better to do.

Everyone was there as they were supposed to. Phil greeted a fraction of those who said hello or were happy to see he had come back.

"Alright everyone, let's come together into the circle, if you'd please." Someone new, a woman, was now the head of the Victims meeting.

"What happened to the other guy?" Phil asked of the girl he remembered being part of the one meeting he had attended.

"He was arrested for growing, selling, and taking marijuana." The girl mumbled back, Phil had forgotten everyone's names but wasn't about to ask; this was a onetime thing, he just wanted something to do, not making friends.

"Hello, and who are you?" The woman smiled warmly at Phil, recognizing that she wasn't familiar with him, yet.

"I'm Phil." He grumbled but still managed a smile.

"Well nice to meet you, Bill. I'm Julie, welcome to our little meeting." She was too perky, Phil didn't trust her as far as he could throw her. And, with his lack of upper arm strength, it wasn't that far. Phil wasn't even going to bother correcting her either, it wasn't like he was going to stay or- -

"It's actually, Phil, Miss Julie." A cold voice corrected from across the room. Phil looked towards the voice to see who it was but he knew. The voice came from a chair holding a gingered hair man who raised his head slowly before looking into Phil's blue eyes with his evil green ones.

"Oh, sorry Phil. Thank you, Zachary." She smiled, either ignoring or unaware of the staring contest going on now between Phil and Zachary.

"Anytime." He muttered, never taking his eyes off Phil. Phil suddenly stood up but stumbled due to the speed causing him to lose his balance and the dizziness it caused him.

"What's wrong, Phil? Julie asked concerned as Phil stumbled away from the circle, never looking away from Zachary, making sure he stayed where he was at.

"I-I need to go." Phil gulped and turned to run.

"But we haven't even begun yet!" Julie called after him, but he was already gone.

"It's okay, Miss Julie." Zachary smiled before rising. "I'll go talk to him." With that, he left the group, leaving a sense of security that hadn't been there in a very long time.


	12. Chapter 12

Phil had an uneventful two weeks after he told his story to Rogan. Rogan promised to tell Phil anything as soon as he knew it; but until then, all they could do was wait. Phil spent most of his time with Dan during visiting hours from nine to six. They played games Phil brought, had drawing contests that were so terrible they ended up both losing, and watched DVDs on Dan's laptop while Phil sat on an uncomfortable chair next to Dan's bed. Finally, Dan paused the X-Files one day and turned to Phil who was cowering quietly.

"Are you scared?" Dan asked, slightly amused as Phil readjusted himself into a non-cowering position.

"No." Phil laughed falsely but Dan raised an eyebrow and Phil sighed "Maybe a little. I was a kid when I first watched the X-Files!" Phil tried to explain over Dan's laughter. "I was paranoid growing up." Phil mumbled as Dan wiped tears away from the corners of his eyes.

"Sorry, I shouldn't laugh but, everything looks so fake!" Dan roared, starting himself off again.

"It looked real to a kid." Phil muttered. After another minute of laughter from Dan, Phil's cheeks were burning so he went to leave; he wasn't going to be a thing to laugh at for Dan. But he felt a hand on his arm and turned to see Dan, serious as ever, laughter gone from his face, looking intensely at Phil.

"I promise not to laugh anymore if," Even though it had been some time since Dan's incident, his body was still recovering. Dan pulled the sheet away revealing his beaten body slid had over to the opposite side of the bed, revealing a Phil shaped hole for Phil to lay next to Dan. "You join me. I know this bed isn't nearly as comfortable as that cracked leather chair but…" Dan trailed off with hope in his bright, brown eyes. Phil's light blue eyes scanned from the hand to the bed and back to Dan's face.

"Nothing funny?" Phil questioned, sliding in next to Dan.

"Nothing funny." Dan promised and let Phil get comfortable before he hit play. Phil's attention was no longer on the investigators in the abandoned building with guns drawn but it was now focused on Dan's bandaged, bruised and ever present weight next to Phil.

No matter how many times he tried to focus back onto the show; his thoughts always led back to Dan. What was Dan playing at? Dan did this to get closer to Phil, but why? What was the reasoning? Then his thoughts failed him as Dan's fingers found and curled around his own. "This bit scares me too." Dan whispered just before an alien jumped out at the heroes. Dan jumped too and squeezed Phil hand before he could breathe again. "Damn aliens." Dan laughed softly.

Dan tried to pull his hand away, but Phil tightened his grip. Dan paused the video again and looked at Phil who was already staring at Dan. Time seemed to slow as they studied into each other's faces. Their eyes met but the intensity was a bit much, so they looked away. Phil noticed Dan's focus had landed on Phil's lips. Phil swallowed nervously, he had never been so close to someone since… Then.

"Dan, I'm scared." Phil admitted as Dan's non-intertwined fingers brushed away a particularly stubborn piece of black hair back from Phil's face into the fringe line with its fellows.

"I know." Dan nodded then let go of Phil's hand and removed his other hand from Phil's face. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done this." Dan shook his head and rolled over, ever careful of his laptop which he set on the bed side table gingerly. "I think you should go." Dan muttered and wrapped his arms around himself as if he was cold. Which was a lie, since Phil was still lying next to him.

Phil didn't know what to do except obey Dan's request. He got his things and paused at the doorway to look at Dan. But Dan had already rolled away and all Phil could see was Dan's back to him. Phil saw plasters and pale, sunlight virgin, skin peeking out between the tied up back of Dan's hospital gown. Phil opened his mouth then closed it and finally mumbled "Get some rest." Before leaving.

When he came in the next day, the nurse informed him Dan didn't want any visitors today, they would be running tests for the foreseeable future, no visitors were permitted during that ordeal and Dan was very sorry and thought that he, Phil, would understand. Phil said he did but was confused and hurt since this 'trying ordeal of tests' wasn't mentioned any other day he had come to visit Dan. He told the nurse to tell Dan that he hoped Dan would feel better in time for the trail of Dan's rapist's murder, which was coming up and with that, he left; tossing his bag of apologetic Malteteaser's in the trash on the way out.

So he decided the following evening to go to the useless "We are ALL Victims Here" meeting, since he had nothing better to do. Phil greeted a fraction of those who said hello or were happy to see he had come back.

"Alright everyone, let's come together into the circle, if you'd please." Someone new, a woman, was now the head of the Victims meeting.

"What happened to the other guy?" Phil asked of the girl he remembered being part of the one meeting he had attended.

"He was arrested for growing, selling, and taking marijuana." The girl mumbled back, Phil had forgotten everyone's names but wasn't about to ask; this was a onetime thing, he just wanted something to do that night, which did not involve making friends.

"Hello, and who are you?" The woman smiled warmly at Phil, recognizing that she wasn't familiar with him, yet.

"I'm Phil." He grumbled but still managed a smile.

"Well nice to meet you, Bill. I'm Julie, welcome to our little meeting." She was too perky, Phil didn't trust her as far as he could throw her. And, with his lack of upper arm strength, it wasn't that far. Phil wasn't even going to bother correcting her either, it wasn't like he was going to stay or- -

"It's actually, Phil, Miss Julie." A cold voice corrected from across the room. Phil looked towards the voice to see who it was, but he knew. The voice came from a chair holding a gingered hair man who raised his head slowly before looking into Phil's blue eyes with his evil, green ones.

"Oh, sorry Phil. Thank you, Zachary." She smiled, either ignoring or unaware of the staring contest going on now between Phil and Zachary.

"Anytime." He muttered, never taking his eyes off Phil. Phil suddenly stood up but stumbled due to the speed causing him to lose his balance and the dizziness it caused him.

"What's wrong, Phil? Julie asked concerned as Phil stumbled away from the circle, never looking away from Zachary, making sure he stayed where he was at.

"I-I need to go." Phil gulped and turned to run, tearing his terrified eyes away from Zachary's greedy ones.

"But we haven't even begun yet!" Julie called after him, but he was already gone.

"It's okay, Miss Julie." Zachary smiled before rising. "I'll go talk to him." With that, he left the group, leaving a sense of security that hadn't been there in a very long time.


	13. Chapter 13

Phil ran down the steps leading out of the meeting, knowing Zachary was following him. Phil was running down the dark street towards his and Louise's flat feeling fresh terror and adrenaline for the first time in months. Phil bummed into a corner at the side street and so did a shadow that was following him. The street was new and nearly empty with most of the houses still being built, some even having their skeletons sticking out of the roof. It began to rain which made Phil even more scared; it was harder to run in the rain. As he skipped, the shadow hurried up into a run towards Phil. Phil thought he saw someone in his side vision and turned to look. He saw PJ running towards him.

"Hey Phil!" PJ grinned. "I've got some good news." He informed Phil jogging towards him. But Phil wasn't looking at PJ, he was looking behind PJ.

"PJ, look out!" Phil warned just as a flash of lighting ignited above them. PJ turned, only having time to process green eyes that were lit up by the blaze of electricity projected against the sky.

"Hello Philly's little friend." Zachary grinned as the thunder rolled out its loud and long call. Zachary just lifted PJ and threw him to the ground with one hard blow to the head. He then turned to Phil, smiling. Phil tried to turn and run but Zachary was quicker. He grabbed Phil's upper arms from behind and pulled Phil's ear to his mouth. "I missed you." He whispered. "Did you miss me?" He then turned Phil quickly and pulled Phil's lips to his own. The kiss was hard and forced, just like their relationship, Phil realized. PJ managed to pull himself off the ground with blood on the side that Zachary bashed inwards.

"Let him go!" PJ ordered, pulling Zachary off of Phil. PJ's force was so great that both he and Zachary fell backwards. PJ hit his head again, this time falling unconscious. But Zachary regained his balance and went to kick the knocked out PJ.

"Stop!" Phil shouted at Zachary. Zachary paused in his motion then tilted his head to glace at Phil.

"What?" Zachary questioned Phil as if he was wondering 'how could Phil even speak after I left him so speechless?'

"He's not a part of this so leave him out of it." Phil ordered, standing his ground against Zachary for the first time ever.

"Since when did you get so bossy?" Zachary wondered casually, as if this was just a running into each other after not seeing each other for a while.

"Since I found out I'm a better man than you'll ever be." Phil shot back without missing a beat. Zachary laughed in shock at such a bold and quick response.

"Well well, look who gained some balls." Zachary noted as he pulled a gun out of the back of his jeans. "Too bad you got too cocky for your own good." Zachary raised the gun and pointed it at Phil. "I'll miss you, Philly."

"Freeze!" Someone shouted from the shadows as the headlights of a car lit up the dark street while the rain poured down. Phil was so grateful that he could've cried. But he did not; not in front of Zachary, not anymore. Zachary cranked his head towards the ridiculous order, annoyed at being interrupted. "Put the gun on the ground, now!" The level voice instructed Zachary. Phil recognized the voice to be Rogan's. Phil thought he heard someone in the police car calling for back up. "We could do this all night long, son, but my arms are getting mighty tired. Aren't yours?" Rogan asked, never letting his voice waver nor falter.

"I'd listen to him, Zachary." Phil advised softly. Zachary focused back on Phil.

"Haven't you figured it out, Philly? No one tells me what to do, least of all you." Zachary cocked the gun back just as a shot ran out. Zachary fell to the ground, cursing, as Rogan yelled at the cop next to him "Damn it, Donny!"

"But sir, his was about to shoot!" Donny countered, still holding the smoking pistol.

"Well, you'll be doing all the paperwork when we get back to the station at two in the morning. Call an ambulance." Rogan barked, but Phil hear none of this for he fell to knees and let the relief fall over him with the cold rain.

"Thank you. Thank you." Phil repeated over and over again. He didn't have time to notice Zachary, holding his bleeding leg with one hand, raising his gun with the other and pointing it at Phil.

"'Somebody that I used to know.'" He growled as he was about to pull the trigger. But PJ came up from behind him and pulled his arm upwards sharply. The gunshot ran off and Phil went down.

"PHIL!" PJ roared at Phil's limp body.

"It's done; now our love can die with us." Zachary grinned evilly as he tried to pull the gun down to his forehead but Rogan tackled him and cuffed his hands before Zachary could blink.

"I don't think so, you are going away for a long, long time." Rogan promised Zachary as he lifted him off the pavement in one go. As Rogan read Zachary his rights and sirens were ringing close by, PJ approached Phil.

"Phil?" He inquired as Donny came beside both of them. "Phil, Phil. You can't be dead. You can't! Dan will kill me if anything happens to you, breathe!" PJ shook Phil and cried out. But Phil remained motionless, Donny took over trying to resituate Phil until the backup showed up with an ambulance right behind them. Zachary had to ride in the bumpy police car due to lack of room in the ambulance.

"Try not to get blood on the upholstery." Rogan reminded him as they shot off. Zachary cursed them mentally but was trying to focus on how to die before he could go on trial and then, inevitably, jailed. PJ was holding a rag to his still bleeding head in the back of the ambulance, watching Phil trying to see if he was breathing or not.

"Sir, do you think he'll be alright?" Donny questioned cautiously on the way to the hospital.

"I'm going to make sure he gets the chair if that's what you're talking about, Donny." Rogan growled and motioned to their backseat passenger.

"No, not him, the pale one, the one we were watching over." Donny watched Rogan's face contort with apprehension.

"I honestly don't know, Donny. I didn't see any wounds or anything. But, mark my words, if he does die there's no question about what'll happen to you, boy." Rogan called to Zachary through the metal cage-like thing keeping the front seat from the back seat in all cop cars.

"Don't worry, chief, I won't be around for it." Zachary informed them both as they all pulled into the emergency area of the hospital.


	14. Chapter 14

Dan heard a commotion down the hall and wanted to investigate but he had a tube of testing in his arm and couldn't move, so he called his night nurse: Debbie Smith.

"Anything wrong, Dan?" She inquired upon arrival.

"No, well, I just was wondering what was going on up the hall." Dan stated conversationally.

"Oh, there three new patients in tonight from a police showdown. One was shot by the police who also bashed in one bloc's head in pretty badly and the other who is in a state of shock. The police thought he was shot too but there aren't any bullet wounds on him, no scratches, no nothing. He just fainted when a gun went off in his direction. Gave everyone a right good scare, he did. But I reckon he'll be alright, after a good night's sleep, of course." She gossiped in detail to Dan while she milled about, checking Dan's vitals to look busy.

"Geez, sounds intense." Dan mumbled. "Did you get any names?"

"Well, one begins with a 'Z' and another is called PJ I believe, strange name. And the last, I can't remember, but he's about your height with much paler, ghostly skin. But you'll stay my number one patient, don't you- -"

"Does he look younger than his age on his graphs?" Dan was suddenly erect in his bed and had a wild look in his eyes.

"I don't know his age at all but he kind of looks like a rather large kid, now that you mention it. Hey!" Debbie snapped, shocked at the seer force Dan was using to swing his legs over the side of the bed.

"That's Phil! PJ's my flat mate and you said that the one fellow's name begins with a 'Z'? I only know one person's name that starts that way and I'm about to kill him!" Dan roared as he tried to reach the wheelchair with his good foot.

"Dan! Even if you got down there, visiting hours aren't until seven for patients. You've got to let them all get their rest. Kill that jerk tomorrow, say hello to PJ in the morning and send your love to Phil when things have calmed down, it won't do anyone any good if you go barging in there now, please just rest." Debbie talked as she got him back into bed and wheeled the chair across the room to deter Dan from getting any ideas and acting on them.

"Alright, I guess you're right, Debbie." Dan admitted, getting comfortable once more.

"I always am." Debbie agreed before leaving Dan to drift away to dreamland. But Dan was not sleepy anymore. Which was Phil, the shocked one? PJ had head damage and that devil Zachary was shot in the leg. Good, that meant he couldn't get away so easily when Dan would kill him. And Dan, accused of another man's death, would find no peace until he himself took the life from Zachary's green eyes as he had taken away Phil's.

Dan tried over and over again to fall asleep, but when sleep never came, he decided to take action instead. He managed to get out of his bed without making any alarming noise and army crawled to the wheelchair. When he finally pulled himself up into the seat, he was panting and redder than he had ever been in the face.

"Now comes the easy part." He whispered to himself as he rolled out into the hallway. There was only one nurse between him and Phil. Debbie was right, he'd take care of Zachary in the morning but he needed Phil now.

The nurse was male and black, standing like a tower with an 'I don't fuck around' attitude enclosing his unsmiling face. Dan was trying to think of a distraction that wouldn't get him caught in the process when the guy just left down a side hallway. Must have needed the toilet, Dan thought joyously as he wheeled quickly down the hall and checking every room as he rolled past. He finally found PJ and Phil's which was kitty corner to Zachary's. Dan went to wheel freely into Phil's room but ran into someone else instead. The police officer regained his balance quickly while Dan was having a heart attack.

"Who are you?" He whispered roughly, shining his torch down on Dan.

"I'm Dan, a friend of Phil's and PJ's." He muttered, holding his hand over his eyes.

"Wait, the Dan Phil called on the phone to tell me about his incident, Dan?" Rogan asked, putting the flashlight away.

"Yeah, you must be Officer Rogan." Dan smiled, holding out his hand which Rogan took and shook vigorously.

"What are you doing, roaming rooms at night?" Rogan asked, when they exited the room to be able to talk a little louder.

"I heard Phil was in here and I had to see if he was okay." Dan explained, nodding towards his sleeping friend.

"I know how you feel." Rogan smiled weakly and began wandering with Dan following until they reached the little area reserved for family and friends to visit the more mobile patients. "When I was just engaged to my wife, she was in an accident and they only were allowing family to see her. I was new to the police station and couldn't yet use my powers as an officer to see her. They wouldn't tell me anything. I was the first one there, of course, and her folks lived hours away. They wouldn't be back until the morning and, as a non-family member, I wasn't allowed to see her until they did. I felt so powerless and decided to take it into my own hands. So, I came back later that night and snuck into her room. She was banged up real bad but I knew she'd be okay. I was caught and charged with breaking and entering but the charges were dropped. If I had to go through that all again, without power and authority, I know I'd be charged again and lose my job. But I doubt I'd care. I bet you're wondering why I'm telling you all this." Rogan thought, turning to watch Dan.

"The thought had crossed my mind." Dan admitted.

"I'm telling you this because what you feel for that young man is the same way I feel with my wife and that only happens with one person. Trust me, I've been married a few times before this one but I knew from that night on, she was the one I'd treasure until the day I died. I won't tell anyone I saw you about and I'll let you see him but only for a few minutes, seems fair?" Dan nodded and couldn't believe his luck. A lookout, friend, cop and wise man all rolled into one!

Dan wheeled into the room and approached Phil who was closest to the window and whose bed the moonlight did light up. He rolled right up to him and looked him over. No real damage, only bruised on the wrists and that wasn't such a big deal. Dan's eyes fell on Phil's hands. They were so smooth and pale in the moonlight, Dan wasn't sure if they were skin or marble. He checked to make sure no one would look and he touched Phil's soft, cream colored hand. He held it with one hand before moving it to his face, comforting albeit motionless as he studied it. Perfection was all Dan thought as he held on with one hand then both then none finally, blushing slightly, managing Phil's fingers to spread wide enough for Dan to intertwine his fingers with Phil's. He stared at them, all ten of them, mingling as one until there was a tap on his shoulder.

"Time's up." Rogan informed him as he placed Phil's hand back down and permitted Rogan to roll him out of Phil's room and down the hall, back to his own room.

"Rogan?" Dan asked as they both helped Dan back into bed.

"Yes?"

"Can you love someone without dating someone first?" Dan blurted before he could chicken himself out.

"I believe there is one person for everyone on the planet. Always has been, always will be the way of things. But once you meet that person, everything becomes clear and if feels like you're living for the first time in your life. It doesn't matter if it's boy, girl, friend, foe, what you feel is what is right and what is wrong. Trust your heart with all your heart, Dan." Rogan advised before he left.

"Thank you, Rogan." Dan yawned as he began to drift away.

"You're welcome." Rogan nodded, this was the last thing Dan heard before he was thrusted into dreamland.


	15. Chapter 15

Phil woke up to the sound of pleasant conversation. PJ was discussing somethings with a friendly nurse.

"Hey hey Phil! Welcome back to the land of the living!" PJ smiled, thrilled to see he was awake. "How are you feeling?"

"PJ, you're taking the words right out of my mouth!" The nurse joked, before going to check on Phil.

"I feel fine, I guess, where are we?" Phil mumbled, sitting up stiffly as the nurse reached him.

"We're in the hospital, you've been in shock for about a week." PJ informed cheerfully as if it were good news.

"You sleep when you're in shock?" Phil questioned the nurse.

"Sometimes, in your case at least." The nurse noted, listening to Phil's heart carefully.

"This is Emmeline, she's a trainee and doing a fabulous job, I might add." PJ flirtatiously introduced Emmeline to which Emmeline batted a hand in his direction before leaving. "She's really great." PJ assured Phil as if Phil had questioned it but the only thing Phil was questioning was what wasn't obvious.

"Where is he?" He wondered, not looking around too much, in fear Zachary might pop out at any moment.

"Dan? He's at court at the moment." PJ commented dismally.

"Not Dan, the guy that beat the crap out of you." Phil corrected, irritated as well as worried.

"Oh, he was taken away about three days ago. He just needed the bullet taken out of his leg, a few stitches, a cast and he was off! He's going to trail and this bloc named Roger or Richard or…" PJ was snapping his fingers to help him remember to no avail.

"Rogan?" Phil wondered hopefully.

"That's his name! He and his partner took that twat to jail until his trail. Rogan told me to tell you that the chance of him getting anything less than fifty years was as unlikely as Rachel Ray winning the Great British Bake-Off."

"Who's Rachel Ray?" Phil laughed.

"I don't know!" PJ replied, also laughing at Rogan's humor. It felt good to laugh, Phil noticed, deeply and from the heart. After such horrible days, it felt like the sun was going to break from the clouds and produce a glorious rainbow.

"Wait," Phil stopped laughing and replayed what he had heard. "Did you say that Dan's at court right now?"

"Yeah," PJ gasped, he tried to stop laughing and get serious as Phil, but it was a struggle. "Dan is in court as a witness to his rapist's murder; he isn't accused, thank god but he's still not in a good way." PJ shook his head, glad he wasn't in Dan's shoes but sad he couldn't support his friend.

"Is it being broadcasted? Could we watch?" Phil seemed eager as he looked for the remote to the TV perched high above.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Phil." PJ warned, hiding the remote next to him.

"PJ, give me the remote." Phil demanded, hand outstretched once he saw PJ had what he desired.

"Phil, trust me, you don't what to watch Dan being interrogated and told he's wrong. I was on a jury once, it's brutal. Believe me Phil, its torture to watch for some people." PJ tried to deter Phil from watching such a low thing for humanity to do. But Phil glared at him and commanded PJ to give the remote to him with another shake of his hand. PJ reluctantly gave Phil the remote and Phil ripped it from PJ, angry that PJ had attempted to discourage him.

"If I can't be there by his side, the least I can do is watch him and support him through physic waves." Phil shook the remote at PJ before turning it on with a flick. PJ was quiet as Phil searched the channels frantically looking for the trial. Suddenly, a flash of Dan's healing but battered face caused Phil to stop and run back to the channel where the trial was recorded and broadcasted on an outdated camera. "Dan." Phil breathed when he sees Dan in his full awkward glory. But he is not nearly as candid as he was with Phil. In fact, he was anything but smiling as he was addressed.

"Mister Howell," A well-dressed man wandered in front of him as he spoke. "When was the first time you met Mister Butler?"

"Objection your honor!" The other lawyer rose to his feet and slammed his hands on the table in front of him.

"Denied." The judge growled as if this wasn't the first time he'd ask for an objection. The outraged lawyer glanced apologetically to Dan before the first lawyer went on. "Mister Howell, please answer the question." The judge requested.

"I was raped by Mister Butler a few months ago." Dan announced tightly which sent a stir through the courtroom which was stopped with the gavel.

"How did you know it was Mister Butler?" The lawyer questioned unfeeling and emotionless. The other lawyer was about to object, or clock him one, but Dan answered calmly.

"You don't forget who raped you every easily." Dan stated heatedly.

"But did you see his face, how did you know it was him?" The lawyer pressed. Phil felt uncomfortable as Dan began to grow angry. "And what are the odds of you being at the same place at the same time as he was the night he was shot? I say that you led him to his death by framing him and holding him until he was attacking you and the policeman shot him!" The courtroom was still and silent as Dan composed himself to answer.

"To answer your questions, Mister McGlinn; I heard his voice and it haunted me for months, I heard him screaming in my ears at night with his breath crawling on my neck every time I went to sleep. I woke up screaming every day. I am aware the chances of us seeing and meeting each other again were scarce to say the least, but it so happened that God wanted to see what would happen if we did meet again. Say what you want, but that's what happened. I charged after him in the alley. I came because I heard Mr. Kendall's cries for help." There was a small shift in the crowd as he mentioned Mr. Kendall's name. "I wasn't about to let that poor man be affected like I had been and haunted like I was. So, if it seems unlikely and you want to blame me for a horrible man's death, go ahead. Because your opinion doesn't matter," Dan pointed to the jury "Theirs' does!" No one spoke as Dan grimaced as he sat back into his wheel chair.

"No further questions, your honor." Mr. McGlinn smiled, thinking Dan had just said something that would expose Dan as a thoughtful and careful murderer. However, Dan's testimony didn't seem like that was the impression he had made on the shocked jury; on the contrary, the jury seemed sympathetic. One woman even dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief. The other lawyer now rose as Mr. McGlinn sat.

"Mr. Howell, how are you feeling today?" He asked, polite and conversational as if Dan was opening up a new bank account.

"I'm sore, honestly." Dan muttered as he adjusted his still casted limps.

"I'm so sorry. How did you get such horrible injuries?" The lawyer's eyes seem to twinkle as Dan went into detail how, when Mr. Butler was alive, he had beaten Dan into this state of being. The smug smirk slipped off of Mr. McGlinn's face like a wet sponge, slow but obvious. After Dan was finished with describing all his hospital needs and his bills that he still needed to pay somehow, the lawyer smiled warmly and thanked him for his time. A nurse then came and wheeled Dan away. Phil then switched off the TV and both he and PJ sat in a long stillness of wordless amazement.

"He did great." PJ pointed out, after a while.

"He was absolutely amazing." Phil whispered in awe at Dan's bravery and how he had held onto the truth even when he was told he was wrong.

"When are you going to tell him?" PJ asked startling Phil.

"Tell him what?" Phil wondered, having no idea where this was going.

"That you love him." PJ prompted, thinking that it was obvious. Phil went ruby red and flustered.

"What? What makes you think that I love him?" He was flabbergasted that PJ would suggest such a thing.

"Right, because you call people 'absolutely amazing' on a daily biases. Phil, you almost tore my arm off with your glare went I didn't give you the remote, for goodness sake!" PJ laughed at the outrageous risk Phil almost took. "You don't say and do those things for just anyone, Phil." PJ reminded him before rolling over, grabbing his Nintendo 3DS to give Phil time to mull things over for a while.

Was PJ right? Was Phil in love with Dan, a man that he only had one real thing in common: they'd been raped on the same day?


	16. Chapter 16

Phil didn't have much time to mull as a familiar face sauntered into the room.

"Morning Phil, heard you were awake and I came in to check up on you." Rogan smiled warmly as he drew up a chair. "Hello PJ." He nodded at PJ who nodded back, never looking up from his device. "Kids with their games these days." Rogan mumbled and shook his head before turning back to Phil. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, I guess but how did you know I was awake?" Phil wondered as Rogan took off his hat and patted his bald head with a red bandana.

"I had them call me when you woke up." Rogan stated unapologetically. "I wanted to talk to you about somethings." Rogan turned and glanced at PJ. "Do you mind giving us some alone time to talk?" Rogan requested.

"I'm not even here." PJ promised as he swayed side to side, obviously playing a car or kart related game of some sort. Rogan cleared his throat which caused PJ to glimpse up. The glare Rogan gave was one of very powerful suggestion. PJ pressed his nurse button and asked to be taken out to 'mingle with the commoners'. Once he was gone, Rogan closed the door and looked back at Phil. He sat down then stood and began to pace.

"Phil, what happened that night was not your fault and I will do everything in my power to keep you from standing on trial like Dan had to today." Rogan began, loud and sure of himself.

"Thank you, how did-?" Phil began but was interrupted.

"I have been visiting Dan for a week now and I went to the trial to show my support since you couldn't. Which brings me to the next bit." Rogan grew physically more uncomfortable as he wiped his brow again and loosened his collar. "Phil, Dan he…" Rogan started and found it hard to continue. "He is a great guy."

"Yes, I am aware." Phil stated, trying to see what Rogan was getting at but couldn't.

"Yes." Rogan nodded viscously as he paced even faster. "They don't make men like him anymore."

"He is one-of-a-kind." Phil agreed with a sigh.

"Exactly!" Rogan nearly shouted with his arms outstretched to Phil like Phil had said something he had been trying to say but couldn't.

"Rogan," Phil hesitated, "Do you like Dan?" Phil wondered heatedly. Rogan look dumbfounded before laughing so hard that his potbelly shook from amusement.

"No Phil, I do not!" Rogan wiped a tear away, the sunlight glinting off his wedding ring.

"Oh," Phil somewhat smiled from relief. "Then what are you getting at?" Phil was still lost.

"Let's just say that you mean a lot to him, and I know he means a lot to you." Rogan concluded, thinking it was best he stopped before he revealed anything.

"Rogan, what's going on? Why is everyone acting so weird?" Phil was annoyed and nervous. What he dying or something? Just as Rogan opened his mouth, his phone rang to the tune of 'God Save the Queen'.

"Hello?" He asked as he picked up. A small smile played on his lips. "Yes, okay, we're on our way." He clicked it off and turned to Phil. "Time to go on a little trip." He grinned, as he putted up another wheel chair for Phil to get into. Phil refused at first but then conceded when Rogan nearly pulled out his back trying to get Phil to get into the chair. He wheeled Phil down the halls and into the elevator.

"Where are we going?" Phil wondered as Rogan made sure Phil couldn't see what floor he pressed as he pressed the button.

"Nowhere." Rogan muttered but still was grinning like a child after being told to keep a secret. Finally, the metal doors opened and Phil saw they were right by the exit.

"Dan!" Phil grinned as his eyes found Dan, who was waiting in his own wheelchair by the door with a laptop under his arm. "How did it go? Did they call the verdict?" Phil wanted to run to Dan but felt that if he did, he'd fall over like a newborn deer walking for the first time.

"Not guilty." Dan smiled warmly as Phil wheeled up to him and wrapped his arms around Dan. "I'm glad you're okay." He whispered, hugging Phil tightly.

"Me? I just ran into my ex, you just came back from trail! Who cares about me and my little problems?" Phil shook his head as he stared at Dan relived.

"I do!" Dan and Rogan chorused together. Rogan went red as Phil did.

"I'll just be over…" Rogan began and hurried away, still sauntering but at a faster pace. Dan and Phil both laughed then Dan repeated.

"I care about you and your little world full of problems and worries." Dan couldn't take his eyes off of Phil as he spoke. Which made Phil both uncomfortable and loved all at the overwhelming same time.

"And I care about yours." Phil whispered back sheepishly. Dan didn't know what to say but only hugged Phil again. They pulled apart.

"Listen, I was wondering, if you're not doing anything when you get out of hospital…" Dan began but was interrupted by Phil's giggle.

"Dan, I think I'll get out before you." He reminded Dan softly, sweeping a hand across his uninjured body then motioning to Dan's still badly bruised one. Dan looked hurt from being interrupted and laughed at then refused to go on. "But," Phil said quickly seeing Dan's face fall. "I would like to see you after all this is over and we're both out. However," Phil gulped soundlessly, his Adam's apple bobbing. "I would like to see you, see you. Like going out on a date, see you." He mumbled turning redder and redder with every word. By the end he was nearly a tomato faced. Dan's face lit up and beamed as he enveloped Phil into yet another embrace.

"Yes!" Dan nodded, pulling apart to look at Phil fully in the face. "Yes, me too, I'd like that very, very much." They both grinned as Rogan came back at a slow saunter.

"It's about time!" He whispered as Dan and Phil held onto each other as best they could in their wheeled chairs.


	17. Chapter 17

Phil was released three days later, his insurance covered all payments. The verdict was giving to Mr. Butler's death: Mr. Butler caused his own death and no one was at fault. The family was outraged and hurt but left no further comments to the media. Only his daughter, who was older than Dan and Phil, spoke. She had dried tears on her cheeks as she said "I am deeply sorry for my father's behavior and I hope he is repenting, wherever he is now."

Phil decided to spend his time trying out YouTube with his laptop's webcam instead of pacing hole into his bedroom floor, waiting for Dan to be released. Phil made a video every week, mostly talking about his life up to this point, and the support he got from people, mostly girls, that didn't know him was staggering.

Another month dragged by until Dan was released. Butler's daughter, Jill, ignored her mother's objections and paid for Dan's entire bill with the money that she received from her father's will. She told Dan she hoped she could start to attempt to apologize for her father. Dan was amazed that a lowly man like Butler was could have a wonderful daughter like Jill.

Phil came home from an interview at a computer repair shop one day to find Dan waiting for him.

Dan was outside Phil's flat with Louise. Dan was smoking his one cigarette for the day and Louise was standing in the opposite of the wind so the smoke wouldn't blow in her face. Phil stood across the street watching them. His flat mate talking to his… Phil didn't know what Dan was to him. His best friend, something more? Phil was unsure.

"So why do you smoke?" Louise asked as a particularly strong breeze blew the smoke into her face. Dan bite on his cigarette then let his arm fall and let the cigarette slip through his fingers.

"I smoke because…" Dan began but trailed off, unsure of the answer.

"I hear smoking relieves stress but everyone has their own reason." Louise babbled until she spotted Phil coming from across the street. "Phil!" Louise yelled and waved in happiness at the sight of him. Dan turned and smiled widely, letting go of what breathe and smoke was left in his lungs. Phil just grinned and waved awkwardly in response.

"Hi." Phil greeted when he reached his friends.

"Hello." Dan replied with a small dilation in his eyes.

"Hey." Louise was about to gush with a series of questions but felt she was wanted anywhere but here. "I'll be upstairs." She said instead, then turned and left Dan and Phil alone.

"I'm proud of you." Dan stated again, he had been telling Phil since Zachary was convinced and sent to prison, with a life sentence. Others had come forward telling their stories of Zachary's abuse.

"You already said that." Phil noted.

"It's only because it's true." Dan grinned, opening a container of Tic Tacs and shaking three into his mouth before biting them.

"I'm proud of me too." Phil confessed. "I don't feel scared anymore, to be honest." Phil thought out loud. "I'm proud of you too." Phil whispered as he looked into Dan's brown eyes. Then he seemed to realize something he hadn't been able to say before. Now, he wanted to show it.

"Phil?" Dan questioned as Phil began leaning in.

"Let me try something." Phil whispered "I promise I won't hurt you."

"I know you won't." Dan agreed as he leaned in. "I won't hurt you either."

"Like you could ever hurt me." Phil muttered a second before their lips touched. It was long awaited yet tense for neither had been intimate in so long, they weren't sure how to act. Dan stood perfectly still as Phil grimaced, excepting a punch, but none came. He opened his eyes a little and saw Dan already staring back. Phil was so shocked he pulled away and began laughing.

"What's so funny?" Dan smiled as he felt giggles coming on.

"Because you look so scared!" Phil roared at how ridiculous they had been acting. Dan paused a moment before laughing too. They stopped finally and Phil whispered something he hadn't been able to pinpoint until now. "I love you." Dan looked stunned for a moment before smiling and whispering back

"I love you too." This confirmation on both sides seemed to relax them as they pulled in close. Dan wriggled his arms around Phil's waist as Phil maneuvered his arms around Dan's neck.

"I'm not afraid anymore." Phil muttered reaching out to Dan's face with his own.

"I don't think I will ever be afraid again." Dan concluded as their lips embraced properly and passionately.

But he had been afraid after that.

He had been afraid of moving in together ("Use protection." Rogan reminded when he finished helping them move in), terrified when he proposed (at the police station with cops cheering as they kissed), shaking when he said 'I do' (Rogan was Phil's best man while PJ was Dan's as they stood in the hospital where they first met), petrified when they, for the first time, slept together on their wedding night (they indeed used protection), scared when they asked to see if they could adopt (Rogan had put in a good word for them), frightened when their son ran up to them and heart broken when their son left for college. All of these terrifying things were met, seen through, and he received tremendous relief afterwards. Gratitude was what he felt he came to realize later in life as he laid next to Phil in the retirement home.

He also recalled the YouTube channel they shared, the conventions, the supporting fans from around the world. He remembered speaking at rape awareness meetings across the globe and at schools to inform the people that yes, even men can be raped, live through the hell of it, and even find love.

They were 'revolutionary' posters and newspaper clippings around their shared room declared. Their granddaughter read these with unsure awe. Had her grandfathers really did all those things? Dan and Phil looked at each other and confirmed that they sure did. It had been an amazing life and journey to share as one. They had waited until everyone had left to hold hands, suck in one last drug assisted breathe before floating away together.

Yes, it had been one hell of a live and now, this was a whole new beginning.


End file.
